“I understand.” Turning, Julian went over to the sideboard and poured them both a glass of brandy, then handed one to Dylan. “But this is a happy occasion. Let’s help Michael and Emma celebrate their marriage tonight. We’ll worry about the rest tomorrow.”
However, as they turned back to the rest of the group, he feared what Dylan’s revelations would mean for Michael.
Chapter Seven
Jane couldn’t sleep.
The journey to Sherbourne Hall for Emma and Michael’s wedding had seemed to take forever, and once she’d arrived, she’d been forced into close quarters with Julian once again. Dinner had been excruciating, with Michael’s brother and Jane’s cousin Natalia so obviously in love, and Michael and Emma unable to keep their eyes off each other despite the tension between them. She and Julian had been paired up, and she couldn’t help thinking how it might be if she’d accepted his proposal and they could be a couple in truth. She’d tried to remain distant this evening, but she had to admit that his sweetness was wearing her down.
The mere fact that Julian was in the room next door made it impossible to close her eyes. If she did, she’d be too tempted to picture him lying in his bed, his magnificent body naked beneath the crisp white sheets.
With a soul-deep sigh, she flung away her blankets and paced the room with growing agitation. Thank God Emma and Michael were finally getting married tomorrow. Once her obligations to the young American were over, she could return home and be spared the constant temptation of Julian’s arms.
Why did he have to be so heartbreakingly handsome? He shouldn’t speak of things such as love and second chances. She was far too susceptible to his sweet seductive words and smoldering glances.
It wasn’t fair.
She desperately wanted to believe he still loved her and wanted her to become his wife.
Her heart begged her to take the risk, but she knew even if he truly wanted her now, it would be a fleeting thing. Once he’d had his fill, he would move on, as he’d done before. Then she’d be left alone in their shell of a marriage, trying to keep up the pretense while her heart shattered.
Still, she couldn’t stop thinking of Emma and Michael’s passionate embrace, couldn’t stop wishing she’d allowed Julian to take such liberties all those years ago. What would it have mattered? What good was her virginity to her now?
She didn’t want to die a shriveled-up old prune, having never known what it was like to make love to a man.
Hugging her arms to her chest to fend off a sudden chill, she stared at her mirrored reflection.
“You’re too lovely to be a spinster.”
Julian’s words whispered through her mind, and a new resolve sparked to life within her. Why shouldn’t she go to him, now, before the ravages of age caught up to her? Why shouldn’t she have one beautiful memory to keep her warm during all the long lonely nights to come?
If she asked him to make love to her, made it clear she had no intention of demanding anything more than a single night of pleasure, he’d probably be relieved. He’d laugh that soft sexy laugh and offer to teach her everything she’d ever wanted to know.
But could she bear that? To know he’d never really wanted anything more?
Yes. She could bear that, and more. Better one lovely evening than a marriage filled with lies and deceit.
