“There.” At last, he lowered the damp cloth. “I think you’ll live.”
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and found him staring down at her, his beautiful mouth just inches from hers. “I really should go.”
“No.”
His sharp tone startled her. She took a step back, but he immediately gentled. “Please, Jane. Stay for a while. Tell me why you came.”
She stared at him, unsure how to go about getting what she wanted. With a nervous swallow, she pulled her robe tighter around her waist.
This was definitely not how Emma would have handled the situation. Dropping her gaze to the middle of his broad chest, to the soft-looking patch of dark hair that grew between his flat male nipples, she struggled to find the right words.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other day. And I’ve come to a decision.”
“You have?” With a glad cry, he swung her up in his arms and cradled her against his chest. “Thank God,” he whispered, covering her face with a tender storm of kisses. “I thought you’d never forgive me. I thought I’d live the rest of my life without ever holding you in my arms again.”
Stunned by his erroneous assumption of her motives and overwhelmed by his kisses, Jane couldn’t find the breath to contradict him. He turned and lowered her to the bed, then followed her down, pressing her deep into the mattress with the heat and weight of his lean body. “I’ve been such a fool.” He met her gaze earnestly, tracing her cheek with one gentle fingertip. “But I swear I’ll make it up to you.”
She knew he thought she was agreeing to marry him, but she was so enraptured by his tenderness she couldn’t bring herself to shatter the illusion. Feeling quite daring, she brushed a few strands of silky black hair out of his eyes and lifted her mouth to his.
With a soft groan, he transformed her chaste kiss into a scorching brand of possession. She gasped as his tongue captured hers, flooding her senses with a taste of brandy.
He’d kissed her before, years ago, but she’d forgotten how quickly passion could build. Restless, she ran her hands over his hair and the warmth of his skin, trying to get closer.
He nudged her clenched thighs apart with one knee. His scalding erection rubbed insistently against her core, and the resulting pleasure was nearly more than she could bear.
Shuddering, he broke the kiss and stared down at her. His chest heaved as though he’d run a great distance. “Tell me you love me. Please, Jane. I need to hear the words.”
Tell me you love me.As she looked into his beautiful, passion-drawn face, she knew she always had. She always would.
Tears filled her eyes, and she tried to drive them back. “Let’s not talk. Don’t spoil it.”
“Spoil it?” Julian resisted her clinging arms and pinned her with an incredulous look. “What’s going on? Why the hell did you come here tonight if you don’t love me?”
“I’m offering you my body. Isn’t that enough?”
He stared at her for a long moment, then rolled away and sat on the edge of the bed. Trembling, she sat up and drew her knees to her chest as she stared at the rigid line of his back.
“Let me see if I’ve got this straight,” he said, after an endless moment of silence. “You don’t love me; you just want to fuck me?”
She flinched at the ugly word but refused to let him make her feel bad about this. He was the one who had walked away. He’d broken her heart. How dare he expect her to be foolish enough to trust him again?
“I can’t marry you,” she told him, struggling not to give in to her tears. “I can’t give my heart to you again.”
He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees as he buried his face in his hands. “I don’t want just one night in your bed, Jane. I want all of you. I want us to have what Dylan and Natalia have.”
She inched toward him and gently caressed his shoulder. “I want that, too. But surely, you see how impossible it is. I couldn’t hold your love when we were young, and I doubt anything has changed. You see your friends marrying, and you want to have that kind of closeness. But how can we, when you don’t even know me?”
“I know you. You’re the only one besides Dylan and Michael who has ever given a damn about me.”
She sighed. “You want me to love you, but I don’t think you’re capable of loving me in return. I can’t live like that. I can’t spend the rest of my life worrying that you’re with another woman every time you walk out the door.”
“It wouldn’t be like that,” he whispered. “I would never do that to you.”
She wanted to believe him. She wanted it with every fiber of her being. But she couldn’t. She knew him too well.
“I want you. Can’t it be as easy as that? Just give me tonight, Julian. You know that’s all you really want. Don’t make me live the rest of my life without ever knowing passion.” Emboldened by desperation, she let her hand drift down to rest on the straining bulge of his manhood, which pressed against the thin sheet.
He caught his breath, and the rigid shaft of flash leapt against her hand. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Don’t you know you’re playing with fire?”
