JANE ENDURED THE SLIGHTpressure of Julian’s hand on her waist until they were safely away from the dining room. Then she shook him off, desperate to hide the fact that his slightest touch still had the power to turn her into a lovesick fool.
She hated herself for her weakness. This man had destroyed her. How was it possible to still want him so badly? All during the interminable dinner, she’d found her gaze drawn to him repeatedly, much to her chagrin. He’d caught her staring at him more than once, but she’d tried to play it off, tried to pretend that he wasn’t the most handsome man she’d ever seen.
Julian paused, staring down at her with those moody dark eyes that always saw too much. “Do you hate me, Jane?”
Stunned by his blunt question, she stepped back, inadvertently trapping herself between the wall and Julian’s big lean body. “You give yourself far too much credit, Julian. I haven’t even thought about you in years.”
He moved in and braced his hands on either side of her head, a faint smile curving his lips. “Liar.”
His scent overwhelmed her, the intoxicating mix of leather and man that dredged up memories best left forgotten. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hands on the muscular wall of his chest and tried to shove him away. “Surely, you have better things to do than toy with the emotions of a spinster.”
He refused to budge, and she knew she’d made a terrible tactical error. The warm, tantalizing swell of his chest teased her fingers. The desire to touch him overwhelmed her.
“Oh, Jane,” he murmured. “You’re far too lovely to be a spinster. I can’t believe that you are. I thought you’d married someone else ages ago.”
“If you cared at all, you would have kept track of me.” She shook her head. “You’re the one who hasn’t givenmea second thought.”
“I’m thinking of you now. Ever since I saw you the other night at the theater, I’ve been remembering how it used to be between us... How you used to kiss me so sweetly...” He lowered his head and pressed his lips to her forehead, a tender caress that made her ache for what could have been.
She closed her eyes against him and prayed for strength. “I was a fool, Julian. I believed you when you said you loved me.”
“Maybe I did love you.” His voice was low and rough, his mouth mere inches from her ear. “God knows I’ve never felt that way about anyone else.”
“You didn’t love me.” At last, her disappointment managed to eclipse the need to be in his arms again. She ducked beneath his arm and glared at him from a few feet away. “You ran away from me when I needed you most.”
Julian remained where he was, one arm braced against the wall, the other clenched at his side. “I’m sorry. I was criminally stupid. Can you ever forgive me?”
“No.” Jane resisted the urge to smooth the dark silky hair from his forehead. “It’s too late for that, Julian. Years too late.”
He didn’t protest when she spun on her heels and took her leave, going to wait for Emma in the foyer, her hands trembling as she put on her wrap. Stupid tears stung her eyes, and she was forced to admit that she’d hoped that he would come after her, that he’d act as though he really meant his apology. But he was obviously just trying to be polite, trying to make things easier, since they were going to see so much of each other over the coming months.
As she squared her shoulders and forced the tears away, she knew she’d do practically anything for the chance to cheat time. If only she could go back to that summer when she’d been seventeen and Julian Tremaine had been the center of her world...
She could still remember the first time he’d kissed her, the way they’d held each other and whispered secrets. They’d created their own little world at the hunting cottage on her father’s land, and she’d truly thought it would last forever. Those had undoubtedly been the best days of her life.
But his betrayal had wounded her deeply, so much so that she’d turned down the few prospective suitors she’d had in the years since. She’d given up on all thoughts of marrying or having a family of her own, all because she couldn’t risk being hurt that deeply again.
She had to keep reminding herself of that and ignore his sweet words and insincere apologies.
