My engagement ball.
Anxiety roiled within him as he straightened an imaginary wrinkle in his white glove and wished for the anonymity of his mask. How could he do this? How could he go down there and face their stares and speculation? He’d never been any good at this sort of thing and had never before been forced to be the center of the spectacle.
“Are you ready?” Vanessa’s soft voice broke through his thoughts, and he glanced over his shoulder to find her standing slightly behind him, absolutely gorgeous in a gown of burgundy satin that set off her dark hair and eyes brilliantly.
His gaze dropped to the creamy swell of her breasts, noticing she wore an elaborate necklace of garnets and diamonds that had once belonged to his grandmother.
Noticing the direction of his gaze, her hand fluttered nervously over the jewels, while a bright stain of color flushed her cheeks. “Your mother made me wear these. I’ve never worn anything so heavy before. So beautiful.”
He frowned, hating this reminder of why she was doing this. He hadn’t seen her since he’d walked away from her in his study, despite the nearly daily notes she’d sent him, begging an audience. He knew he should tell her she was more beautiful than any necklace could ever be, put her mind at ease since she was obviously as nervous about walking down those stairs as he was, but he couldn’t find it in himself to do so.
“Let’s get this over with,” he said heavily, reluctantly taking her arm.
To his surprise, she covered his hand with hers and squeezed gently, causing him to glance back down at her. Her dark eyes brimmed with tears. “Please, Adrian. Can we talk for a few moments before we go down? I know you’re angry, I know what I did was wrong, but I just... I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I hurt you.”
He hated that he’d allowed her to see the pain her proposal had caused him. He hated that he’d let her into his life, into his heart, and lowered his defenses. She’d seen a part of him no one but his brothers ever had, and he was terrified she planned to use the knowledge against him in some way.
“You didn’t hurt me,” he muttered defensively. “I’d have to care to be hurt.”
“You said that you cared,” she whispered, in a lost, devastated voice. “You said you wanted me more than you’d ever wanted anything.”
“And now I’ll have you,” he replied, lifting his free hand to graze the upper swell of her luscious breasts, remembering how that creamy bare skin had tasted. “We’re both getting something out of this bargain, aren’t we? So let’s just keep treating our marriage as the business arrangement it is and not complicate things with messy emotions.”
She blinked rapidly, her skin breaking into goosebumps beneath his touch, a single tear sliding down her lovely cheek. Christ, she was so responsive to him. He wondered cynically if that one perfect tear was part of the act. He must never let himself forget that she was an actress. He could never again let himself believe in anything she said or did. She’d already proven she couldn’t be trusted.
For a moment, she looked as though she’d make some protest, but she must have seen his unwillingness to listen to anything she had to say because she sighed and squared her slim shoulders. “I’ve never faced a crowd like this as myself. They are going to eat me alive.”
A surge of unwelcome protectiveness welled within him. They probably would. To these people, she was nothing more than a fortune-hunting actress, not fit to do anything other than entertain them. Despite his anger, he knew he couldn’t let them see this tension between himself and his future bride. He must make everyone believe this was a love match, the poor scarred monster reaching for something beyond his grasp. If they sensed it was anything else, the gossip would be even more damaging to his family.
“I won’t let them,” he promised her fiercely. “If anyone disrespects you, if anyone says anything to you that you don’t like, let me know and I’ll take care of it.”
She gave him a look of utter gratitude, and then, to his surprise, she rose on her tiptoes and brushed her lips against his.
* * * *
VANESSA DESCENDED THEearl’s grand staircase on Adrian’s arm, feeling the malevolent gazes of a hundred aristocrats boring into her. They didn’t want her here. That much was clear. This was going to be like her meeting with the countess, multiplied beyond her ability to cope.
Adrian marched stoically down the stairs beside her, but she felt a fine trembling deep in the core of him and knew this was going to be just as difficult for him as it was for her. For a man who lived in the shadows, who had chosen to woo her behind the safety of a mask, how terrible it must be to face these stares and whispers.
She stole a sideways glance at him, feeling a small, secret thrill that he would soon be hers. He was so darkly beautiful, despite the scars. She didn’t understand why some other woman hadn’t snapped him up ages ago. From the whispers she’d heard, she’d expected him to be a monster. The faint tracery of scars on his cheek and forehead only added to his allure in her eyes.
“Mr. Adrian Strathmore and his fiancée, Miss Vanessa Bourke,” the earl’s butler intoned as they reached the bottom of the stairs.
A smattering of applause echoed through the room, and Adrian inclined his head toward her, giving her a look that was so loving she caught her breath.
He laughed softly, as though sharing some sweet bit of humor and gazed deep into her eyes. “You see, darling, I can act, too.”
* * * *
THE DAY AFTER THE DISASTROUSengagement ball, Vanessa woke up very late, her head pounding from the vast quantity of champagne she’d imbibed. She stretched and stared up at the ceiling, tears of disillusionment burning her eyes.
She’d been so certain that once she and Adrian were in the same room together again, she could convince him of her sincerity, make him understand why she’d done what she’d done. To her dismay, he’d maintained his aloofness the entire night, never giving her the chance. Every time she tried to talk to him, he cut her off, introducing her to someone new or going to refill her champagne glass, hence the pounding headache.
Though she didn’t deserve his forgiveness, she’d still somehow expected it. Now she was forced to admit that getting back to the place they’d once been was going to be extremely difficult.
With a sigh, she pushed back the covers and got up, dressing hurriedly and taking a hansom cab to Brookhaven. The need to see Gabriel and talk to Fiona overwhelmed her. She hadn’t gone to Brookhaven for nearly a week, too ashamed and worried about everything that was going on between her and Adrian to feel she could be of any use to the boy. She’d also known Fiona would be able to see that something was bothering her.
During the long ride, she realized that no matter what, she’d be able to provide for Gabriel now. Could that be enough for her? Could she endure Adrian’s anger if it meant giving the little boy a home? She pondered upon how and when to ask Adrian if they could adopt him until she arrived, the throbbing headache making it difficult to come to a solution.
