For nearly a week, he turned the problem over in his head, trying to understand what exactly it was that he wanted from her. Were his feelings based wholly on his attraction for her? Though that was definitely part of it, that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to spend time with her. She sparked something inside of him, something he’d never felt before, and he wanted to explore it.
At last, he decided that in order for them to have any quality time together, he would have to return to the orphanage after he’d taken his children home and tucked them in and all the children of the orphanage were also in bed.
So, he settled in to wait, after he’d made sure the nanny knew he’d be gone for a while, and finally, made his way to Brookhaven. It was nearly midnight before he let himself into a side door with a key she’d given him.
As he’d expected, he found her in her office, bent over her books, a troubled frown on her lovely face. He stood in the doorway for a moment, simply watching her. She truly was absolutely stunning, and he enjoyed getting to just drink her in. When she finally looked up at him, a wide grin curved her lips, and in that unguarded moment, he knew she was just as happy to see him as he was to see her.
But then, as though she’d caught herself, she frowned again. “Did you forget something?”
He slowly shook his head. “No, I just wanted to spend some time with you.”
Her frown deepened. “You see me every day.”
With a sigh, he walked into the room and took the seat across from her desk. “Have I done something wrong, Fiona? You’ve been so distant lately.”
She bit her lip and dropped her gaze, staring at the papers in front of her as though they held all the secrets in the world. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Morgan.”
“Then why are you angry with me?” he asked softly.
“I’m not angry,” she said quickly, finally looking at him, her green eyes filled with an emotion he couldn’t name. “I just don’t know what you want from me.”
“I don’t want anything from you,” he assured her. “Just your company. Just your friendship.”
She flushed and looked down again. “I don’t know what kind of woman you think I am, but I can’t be your mistress, Morgan.”
A sick feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. Why would she think that? He hadn’t done anything to disrespect her in that way. After all, she’d been the one to kiss him. “That’s not what I want from you, Fiona. I would never ask that of you.”
“Then what?” she cried, scooting her chair back and putting more distance between them. “I’m so far beneath you that your intentions could never be honorable, so what else am I supposed to think?”
Her words shocked him, but he suddenly understood why she’d been so standoffish, how his obvious attraction toward her must have appeared. Of course, she’d thought he wanted to make her his mistress, that he’d meant to seduce her. Hell, even Adrian had thought that.
“Do you think that where you came from matters to me?” he asked, his own emotions roiling within him. “One of my brothers married an actress and the other married a housemaid. We Strathmores could care less about what other people think when it comes to the women we choose.”
“Have you chosen me, Morgan? Is that what this is?” She got to her feet, pacing behind her desk like a caged animal, a wild light in her eyes. “I’m nothing like Serenity and Vanessa,” she assured him, her voice filled with anguish. “I could never be good enough for someone like you. Never.”
Unable to bear it, he rounded the desk and pulled her into his arms, holding her against him until she stopped struggling and stilled, her breath coming fast and harsh. He soothed her hair, his own heart racing. “Don’t say that, Fiona. You are good and sweet and beautiful, and I don’t know if I’ve ever liked anyone more.”
She blinked up at him through her tears, her green eyes filled with tentative hope and longing. “You can’t mean that.”
“Of course, I do,” he whispered, brushing a few auburn strands from her damp cheek. “You have such strength, Fiona. Such character. I honestly don’t know what my intentions are where you’re concerned, but I promise I would never do anything to dishonor or hurt you. If I step out of line at all, if I ever make you feel the least bit uncomfortable, all you have to do is tell me.”
She shivered and buried her face against his chest once again. “Everything you do makes me uncomfortable,” she whispered, her voice muffled. “But in a good way. I’ve never felt so safe, so cared for. It’s hard for me to trust that.”
“Me, too,” he agreed. “I’ve never known a woman I could be myself around. With Anne... I always had to pretend, always had to keep my true thoughts and emotions at bay.”
“What are we going to do?” she asked plaintively. “How can we possibly be anything more than friends?”
He tilted her chin up and stared deep into her eyes. “Friends is enough for now, don’t you think? I just want to go back to how things were between us a week ago. Do you think we could do that?”
She bit her lip. “A week ago, we kissed.”
He winced. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“That’s just it,” she admitted softly. “I’m not. I loved it when we kissed. You’re the only man who has ever treated me with such tenderness. I think about it all the time.”
He hugged her tighter against him, her words sending fire through his blood. “I think about it, too.”
For a few moments, they simply stood there, breathing each other in, the weight of their admissions hanging between them. He pressed his face against her hair, eyes closed, wishing he knew what the hell he was doing, wishing he knew the right words to say.
