“Let’s catch up a bit first,” she told him, needing a little more time to think about what he was asking. “How have you been, Roman?”
He huffed a bit of a laugh and took a few bites of his soup, seeming like he needed a moment to gather his thoughts as well. “Well, as you probably know, I lost my father and my brother since we parted ways, which led to me inheriting this blasted title.”
She smiled a bit. “Not many men of my acquaintance would be upset by that.”
He frowned. “Nothing good has come from it. I had already built a fortune for myself, with my gambling hells and investments, so I didn’t need the money. And the rest of it, the properties and responsibilities... I could have done without those.”
She flushed, wondering if this was a reminder that they could have lived very well, if only she’d believed in him. Had he been so driven to succeed in an effort to prove her wrong? “I’m proud of what you’ve accomplished, Roman.”
He stared at her a long moment, his face impassive, but then he smiled, a quick flash of the boy she’d once known that took her breath away. “Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.”
A tentative smile tilted her lips in return. So much had gone wrong between them, but for the first time, she had a glimmer of hope that perhaps they could still be friends.
The rest of the meal was spent in comfortable conversation as they shared a brief outline of their lives since she’d married the duke. She told him of her love for Natalia and her family, of her introduction to the Wicked Widows’ League, and what those friendships had meant to her. In return, he told her of his struggle to become the earl and his close relationship with his cousin Collette.
A pleasant warmth soon filled her, and she realized she’d drunk two glasses of wine. The servants were clearing the dessert dishes, and she knew she had a big decision to make. Should she send him home, knowing that they could meet again and continue to rebuild their friendship or should she continue with the plan she’d set in motion? What did she want more? A friend or a lover?
She was afraid to admit even to herself that she wanted both. She wanted what Natalia and her new friend Amelia had. A man who trusted and respected her. A passionate lover who was also a tender friend. All the things that she’d started to believe were fairy tales.
But the specter of her inability to conceive a child still hung heavy on her mind. She could never go through that again. It would kill her.
As though he’d read her mind, he met her gaze, his own eyes slightly unfocused from the wine. “Should I go?” he asked. “Or do you want me to stay?”
In the end, it was really that easy, wasn’t it? And she was so very tired of holding everything she felt deep inside. “I want you, Roman,” she admitted. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted. And now... nothing is standing in our way now, is there?”
“No,” he breathed. “There isn’t.” He reached across the table and took her hands in his, and even that little bit of connection warmed something deep inside her she’d thought forever frozen. “I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear you say that.”
Heart clenching in her chest, she leaned forward and stared deeply into his eyes before pressing her lips to his.
The moment their mouths met, the passion that had always simmered between them exploded to life, and within seconds, she was drowning in him.
This.
This was what she’d dreamed of in her lonely bed all those dark, lonely nights.
This was what she’d remembered when her elderly husband had thrust between her legs, hurting and humiliating her.
Finally, he tore his mouth away from hers and met her gaze, looking just as unnerved by the passion that had exploded between them as she was. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m certain you didn’t ask me here for... that.”
She gathered her courage, knowing that for once she had to tell him exactly what she wanted. “I’m the one who kissed you, Roman. I invited you here tonight not just because I wanted to catch up with you and get to know you again, but because I want to take a lover, and you’re the only one I can imagine doing that with.”
He caught his breath, looking utterly shocked, but then the passion flared in his beautiful eyes once again. “Is there somewhere we can go, darling? Are we the only ones here?”
She knew exactly what he was asking, and although this was what she’d wanted, it still scared her a bit. Once they went upstairs together, there was no turning back.
“Just us and a few servants,” she whispered. “But they’re very discreet.” Surging to her feet, she took his hand in hers, heading toward the stairs. “Come upstairs with me, Roman.”
Chapter Four
Roman trailed Clarice up the stairs, trying to shut down his raging passion enough to make sense of what was happening. He hadn’t even been certain that he would see Clarice tonight, let alone that she’d be here alone and say all the things he’d dreamed that she’d one day say. She wanted to take a lover. She wanted that lover to be him.
Surely, he must be dreaming.
By the time they’d reached the well-appointed bedroom at the end of the hall, he was feeling a little more rational, enough to stop her just inside the door and turn her to look at him. “Are you certain this is what you want, Clarice? I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later.”
She laughed softly and pressed her mouth to his in another scorching kiss. “I’m certain,” she whispered as she pulled back and met his searching gaze. “I want to make love to you, Roman. I’ve wanted it forever.”
How could he argue against that? Especially when he wanted it too. With a soft growl of desire, he pulled her tightly against him and kicked the door shut behind him. His lips crashed against hers as his hands fumbled with the intricate fastenings of her gown, nearly desperate to finally have her bare skin against his.
