The rest was burned into memory anyway.
He had written it at the kitchen table of their old place, crossing out lines until the page looked wounded.One last plea.One last attempt to stop the machinery before it carried them to the end.
The next morning, he had driven toward Robert Raven’s house with the letter in his hand.Selena had been staying there while the paperwork moved through.Connor remembered the steering wheel slick under his palms, the envelope on the passenger seat, the way he had rehearsed what he would say and hated every version.
Robert had been near the mailbox when Connor arrived.
Her father had looked older even then, though strong as an ox.Work coat, cap low, hands rough from years of stubborn land.He saw the envelope before Connor had stepped fully from the truck.
“That for Lena?”Robert had asked.
Connor had tried to pass him.“I need to talk to her.”
“She isn’t here.”
“Then I’ll wait.”
Robert moved in front of him, not aggressive, not exactly.Firm.“No.”
Connor still remembered the anger that came up fast.“You don’t get to decide that.”
“Maybe not.But I get to tell you something before you go making this harder on her.”
“She’s my wife.”
“For one more day, Son.”
The words struck him like ice.
“There’s something you don’t know… She got accepted,” Robert said.
Connor gripped the envelope until it bent.“What?”
“For the Academy.FBI training.She got the letter two days ago.”
The yard had gone too quiet.Selena’s future opening while his fell apart in his hands.Through all of the havoc, all of the fighting and arguing as their marriage ended, Connor had forgotten about Selena’s application to join the FBI.He had never been happy about the idea.He didn’t want her to get hurt.And now here it was.The answer he had dreaded.
“She didn’t tell me.”
“She wasn’t sure how.”
Connor had laughed then.A short, bitter sound.“That’sperfect.”
“It’s a chance for her to spread her wings.”
“She could have spread them with me.”
"Maybe."Robert stepped closer and put one hand on Connor's shoulder."Son, I don't know if you did or didn't have the affair.That doesn't matter now."
“It matters to me.I tried to explain.I know it looked bad.But it wasn’t what she thought.”
“Selena doesn’t trust you anymore.Once trust is gone, that’s it.Sometimes you have to let go of the person you love most, if you really do love her.”
Connor had hated him in that moment.
Not forever.Not even properly.But enough that his throat had closed and his hand had curled around the letter like it was a weapon he would never use.
He had driven home without giving it to her.
