I started removing the front door key from the silver horseshoe keyring – a gift from Laurie the day we moved in – but stopped when it was halfway round the ring, shaking my head.
‘I don’t want this with me for my fresh start,’ I said, pushing it back onto the ring. ‘I’ve got to try and let go of the past.’
Jude took the keyring from me. ‘It’ll be okay. You’re doing the right thing.’
‘Am I?’ I glanced towards the car where Maddie was hunched up in the passenger seat, her face like thunder.
Jude gave my arm a gentle squeeze. ‘She’s confused and hurting about a lot of things right now but she’ll come around. This is an exciting new start for you all. Blue skies are ahead.’
‘I hope so.’ I sighed heavily. ‘That was certainly a tough year I never want to repeat. Thank you for being my rock through it all.’
‘Same to you. I’m not sure I’d have made it through the takeover without your calming influence.’
‘Do you promise to play nicely at work? No more spats with the boss?’
Jude tutted. ‘My tongue is sore from the amount of times I’ve bitten it. That man is impossible.’
‘I know, but he pays your wages and, while none of the other riding stables are recruiting, you’re best to stay on his good side.’
‘I’ll try, but it won’t be easy.’
‘Keep the faith. Blue skies are ahead for you too.’
Jude scrunched up her nose. ‘It’s a bit foggy for me still but give it some time and I’m sure the fog will lift and the rain will stop and the dark clouds will part and…’ She paused and smiled. ‘Am I taking the analogy a bit far?’
‘Maybe just a tad.’
We hugged each other once more and I clambered into the car and started the engine.
‘Bye, Maddie,’ Jude called through the open window.
Maddie raised her hand but didn’t speak. I rolled my eyes at Jude and mouthedsorry. She nodded and gave me a subtle thumbs up.
‘Let me know you’ve arrived safely and I’ll see you really soon.’
Jude would be joining us a week on Sunday, having generously booked a fortnight off work to help us with the final preparations for opening day on Wednesday, 1 July, to support our first few days of being open to the public and to assist with the arrival of our cows from Fetlock Farm the following week.
Putting the gearstick into drive, I slowly edged the car forward, my heart heavy as I took one last look in the rearview mirror at my beautiful home. Except it wasn’t mine anymore. Another family would be moving in later today and putting their stamp on it.
I’d known this was going to be tough but it was proving to be harder than I’d imagined. Even though I was excited about moving back to Northumberland, Berkshire had been my home for more than half my life. I’d moved to Twyford with Laurie when I was twenty-one and I was forty-six now. This was where we’d started our careers, bought our first house together, got married, had Maddie, moved to a bigger house – our forever home – and celebrated so many birthdays, anniversaries and special moments. And now I had to leave it all behind and, truth was, I didn’t understand why.
* * *
‘Are we really going to do the whole journey in silence?’ I asked, giving Maddie a sideways glance after half an hour. ‘Talk to me, Maddie. Please!’
She kept her arms folded across her chest, her head turned towards the passenger’s side window. ‘I don’t want to.’
‘Shout at me, then. Anything’s better than this moody silence. I know you’re not happy about moving but sometimes life doesn’t go the way we hoped or planned. Sometimes it turns upside down like ours has and you can fight it or you can run with it. It’ll be so much easier for you if you see this as anopportunity instead of a disaster – an exciting new adventure ahead of us.’
She finally turned away from the window. ‘An adventure? How old do you think I am? Six?’
I bit back the urge to tell her that she’d certainly behaved like a small child recently, stomping around the house, kicking at the packing boxes, glowering.
‘Adventures are for all ages and this is yours, mine and your nanna’s. I’m scared but I’m also excited about it and I’m certain you would be too if you let yourself.’
Silence.
‘I’d have thought you’d be glad to be moving away from Twyford after what happened with Alfie and Carmen – fresh start and all that.’
