‘Did the walk help?’ Mam asked after I’d finished eating.
‘Being outside always helps. Although I saw Caleb out running again and he didn’t even say hello – just nodded as he passed. Is it me or is that rude?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t think runners usually stop for a chat. Don’t their muscles seize up if they do that?’
‘Fair point but it’s the third time I’ve encountered him and he’s been funny with me each time. He was running last night but he wasn’t the previous two times. Couldn’t get away from me quickly enough.’
‘I haven’t met him yet but I’d suggest it’s too early to draw any conclusions from a few brief encounters. He could be facing some personal issues, he could be worried that we’re planning to evict him at some point, or any number of other things.’
I pondered on that for a moment. ‘He was good to me when I fainted and, to be fair to him, he did say he had a job to get to. Checking on me could have made him late for work.’
‘There you go, then! I think you’re seeing something that isn’t there and it’s not like you to think negatively of someone so soon. Is it possible you’re projecting your challenges with Maddie onto Caleb?’
I nodded, appreciating her speaking candidly. This wasn’t me and I didn’t like it. I hadn’t felt like myself since Laurie told me it was over. Mam had raised several plausible explanations for why Caleb had been cool towards me and another could simply be that he was wary around strangers and needed time to get to know us all. Although there was the snarkygood luck with thatcomment, which didn’t sit comfortably with me. It had felt very judgemental. But I wasn’t going to let it bring me down and I’d continue to make an effort with him.
I put my plate aside and Clemmie appeared moments later, launching herself onto my lap. As I stroked her soft fur, I tuned into her gentle purring. The animals seemed to have taken really well to their new environment and Mam clearly loved it here so there was only Maddie to get settled.
19
The following morning, I drove into Berwick-Upon-Tweed with Maddie to get paints for her bedroom and the café. Mam stayed at the farm to greet the building contractors we’d taken on to prepare the cow cuddling barns and repair The Dovecote’s chimney.
We couldn’t find the colours Maddie had chosen on the shelves of the hardware store so I asked if there was any chance they had stock elsewhere.
‘Everything we’ve got is out,’ the sales assistant said, ‘but I can order paints in for you and they’ll be here by ten on Monday.’
‘We were hoping to paint today.’ I turned to Maddie. ‘Do you want to choose some different colours?’
‘What was the point in giving me the colour charts if I can’t have what I want?’ she said, her voice whiny.
‘They don’t have them in stock so, if you’d like your room painted today, you’ll have to pick something different.’
‘I chose those colours so I want those colours.’
‘Then you can’t have your room painted today.’ My voice was a little sharp but this felt like a conversation with a toddler.
‘We wouldn’t have this problem in Reading.’ And she flounced out of the shop.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I said to the sales assistant. ‘Can I order some colours, please?’
After I’d ordered and paid I expected to find Maddie outside, but there was no sign of her. I craned my neck to look up the street right then left and my stomach lurched. Where could she be? I rang her but there was no answer and panic set in. I powerwalked up the street, peering into shops, hoping something she’d seen in the window had drawn her inside – perhaps to spend the money Mam had given her. Turning, I ran in the other direction but I couldn’t see her anywhere. I rang her again but there was still no answer and I felt nauseous. Across the road was a sign for the train station and my breath caught in my throat. She wouldn’t jump on a train back to Reading, would she? She couldn’t possibly want to see Carmen or Alfie after what they’d done to her. Who else could she see? Jude?
‘Crazy question but have you heard from Maddie?’ I asked as soon as Jude answered.
‘No. Why? What’s happened?’
I filled Jude in on the latest, fear making me garble.
‘Take a deep breath,’ Jude said. ‘Maddie’s angry but she’s not stupid. There’s no way she’d get on a train with nothing but her phone. She’s either gone into a shop or returned to the car.’
‘The car? Oh my gosh, Jude, that never even entered my head.’
‘Go back to the car but stay on the phone and let me know if you spot her.’
I hurried towards the main car park, my heart racing.
‘She’s not here,’ I said to Jude as my car came into view.
‘Are you sure? You know what Maddie’s like for sitting on the ground.’
