I opened a drawer at the bottom of an empty shelving unit and dropped the remote control into it. Nova nudged at my hand and I stroked her head. Skye joined her and I sat on the floor, feeling calmer after focusing my attention on them and feeling their unconditional love in return.
‘You two love it here, don’t you?’ I said.
‘I think it’s a dream home for them,’ Mam said, her voice gentle. ‘And for you and me.’
‘And for Maddie?’ I asked.
‘That’s up to her. You can lead a horse to water…’
‘But you can’t make it drink,’ we said together, exchanging weak smiles.
When the time arrived to leave there was, predictably, no sign of Maddie. I reluctantly rose and went back upstairs, my steps slow. I knocked on her door and eased it open when she didn’t answer. She’d now clambered under her duvet and had her back to the door.
‘We’re going. I expect you to message Auntie Hope and apologise for your absence.’
‘Can I have my remote back?’
‘No. I’m leaving the dogs with you so you’ll need to feed them later and let them out for a wee. Promise me you’ll do that.’
‘I promise. I need to check on the guinea pigs anyway.’
‘And make sure you don’t let Clemmie out.’
‘How many times are you going to tell me that?’
‘Every single time because it seems you don’t listen to a word I say.’
‘I do!’
‘Really? Like you listened to me saying you need to put dust sheets down when you paint? Like you listened to me telling you repeatedly that we were going to Auntie Hope’s for tea? Like?—’
‘Yeah, yeah, I get the point. I won’t let your stupid, skanky cat out.’
I drew in a sharp intake of breath.
‘Mystupid, skankycat? Is that what you really think of her?’
I was so hurt that I couldn’t keep the emotion out of my voice and evidently Maddie realised she’d stepped over a line as she turned round to face me, her expression stricken.
‘I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. I’ve got a headache.’
‘That doesnotjustify what you just said. What happened to you, Maddie? Where did this nastiness come from?’
They were rhetorical questions but I paused in case she had an explanation. When she looked down at her duvet, I continued.
‘I’ve put up with it for nearly two years, hoping it was a phase you’d pass through, but I willnottolerate you taking out your frustrations on any of our animals when all they’ve ever given us is unconditional love. You used to be besotted with Clemmie and now you barely look at her. I’m bewildered by the change in you but can you imagine how much more confusing it must have been for her to be so loved by you one minute and cast aside the next?’
My voice cracked and I blinked back the tears. Maddie’s hair had covered her dipped face so I couldn’t see her expression but her body was shaking as if she was crying. My natural instinct was to sit on the bed and gather her in my arms. No matter how much I was hurting, she was clearly in pain too. As I took a step closer to her bed, the floorboard creaked and she turned over in bed to face away from me.
‘Shut the door on your way out,’ she murmured.
I hesitated for a moment, feeling drained and not sure I could face the inevitable rejection, but battling with the need to comfort her and make things better.
‘And I want my remote back,’ she added in a stronger tone. ‘Now!’
That decided it for me. With a sigh, I turned towards the door.
‘I’ll see you later. I hope the headache clears.’
