‘It is! If tea had been a big steak each, I’d see the issue, but Nanna would have made the same size quiche whether there were three or four of us eating it.’
Embarrassed by our usual family drama unfolding in front of a guest, I chose not to prolong it.
‘Enjoy your evening.’
Maddie rolled her eyes at me. ‘Like you care.’ She lifted her bag onto her shoulder and stomped out of the kitchen without a goodbye.
‘Oh, my God!’ Jude exclaimed. ‘Who was that?’
‘Not the lovely granddaughter I used to know,’ Mam murmured.
I put my arm round Mam’s shoulders and rested my head against hers, at a loss for words.
32
After tea, Mam suggested we make the most of the beautiful evening by taking a bottle of wine into the front garden, but she only stayed for one glass before saying her book was calling and she’d go back inside to keep Clemmie company.
‘Have you heard anything from Erica or Ned recently?’ I asked Jude when Mam had gone.
Erica and Ned had shared a drunken kiss on mine and Laurie’s wedding day and it had set off unexpected fireworks. They married three years later but, after seventeen years of marriage, Erica told him she was leaving him. She’d been having an affair with a mutual friend of theirs for the past three years and was pregnant with his baby so they’d decided to leave their respective spouses and start over together. I’d been shocked by the affair – not something I’d ever have expected Erica to do – and heartbroken for Ned. Nobody deserved to be treated like that and especially not someone as lovely as him. I hadn’t wanted to choose sides when I was so close to them both, but it was hard not to be on Ned’s. I’d reached out to Erica and, while she’d responded to my messages, she’d repeatedly turned down invitations to catch up for a proper chat.
‘Nothing from Erica since shortly after the split,’ Jude said, ‘but Ned rang last night. He said to pass on his love to you and he’s looking forward to his invite once you’re settled.’
‘Aw, bless him. It’s ages since I’ve seen him. How’s he doing?’
‘He’s in a good place. Can you believe it’s been two years? He’s weighing up some big life decisions at the moment. He’s a bit bored at work so he’s thinking it might be time to change job and leave London.’
‘Really? I thought he loved the bright lights, big city lifestyle.’
‘He did but he’s realised that was more Erica’s thing. He’d rather go on a walk to a country pub than be in a crowded bar. Plus, twenty-five years of commuting is going to zap anyone’s energy. I certainly couldn’t have done it.’
‘Is he thinking of a career change too?’
Jude shook her head. ‘Sticking with project management – just a move away from the tech sector.’
‘Any location in mind?’
‘Could be anywhere. With them not having kids, he has no ties, so the world’s his oyster.’
‘I hope he doesn’t go abroad. I don’t see him enough as it is.’
‘Same here.’
I couldn’t miss Jude’s wistful tone and expression. ‘Why don’t you tell him how you feel?’ I asked gently.
‘I can’t. Every time I tell myself I’ve got nothing to lose, I picture his face that morning.’
Jude had developed a thing for Ned towards the end of our second year at university but she wouldn’t say anything for fear of ruining their friendship and messing up the group dynamics. I’d reminded her that Laurie and me being a couple hadn’t ruined the dynamics but she’d been convinced that two couples would. She’d made me promise not to tell any of the others or to meddle. I respected that, although it didn’t stop me giving her the occasional nudge of encouragement.
On a couple of occasions after graduating, she’d told me she was going to say something to Ned, but lost her nerve when the moment came. On my wedding day, she decided that four years was more than enough to be in love from afar and she plucked up the courage to share her feelings, only to catch Ned and Erica kissing.
It was a match that none of us had seen coming – not even the couple themselves. Jude had been in emotional turmoil about it. On the one hand, she was devastated for herself but, on the other, she was delighted that two of her closest friends had found love.
Three years later, as Erica and Ned’s wedding day drew to a close, Jude and I had wandered into the grounds of the venue and sat on a pair of swings suspended from the branch of a giant oak tree, sipping on glasses of Baileys.
‘What happens now?’ I’d asked her.
‘I put my feelings for Ned in a box markedwhat’s the worst thing that could have happened?I’ll file it away, try to move on with my life and chalk this up as a major learning experience that, if you want something, you have to go for it. Don’t let the worst-case scenario stop you.’
