“You looked like you were struggling in there.”
Jack managed a tired smile. “Just calculus. And everything else.”
“Yeah, I know that feeling.” Melissa fell into step beside him as they walked toward the athletic complex. “I’d like to say that it gets better, but…”
He snorted. “That's what everyone keeps saying.”
“It's true. You just have to survive long enough to see it.” She paused. “You heading to practice?”
“Yeah. You?”
“Track in an hour.” Melissa was a distance runner, one of the best on the women's team. “How's baseball going?”
“It's going.” Jack didn't elaborate. Practice had been rough lately. The coach had been riding him hard about his focus, about his performance, about everything. Jack knew he wasn't pitching his best, but he was doing everything he could just to stay afloat. Exhaustion pulled at every muscle… hell, maybe even every cell.
They reached the entrance to the athletic complex and stopped. Melissa turned to look at him, her expression thoughtful.
“Can I ask you something personal?”
Jack's head tilted. “Sure.”
“Are you seeing someone? Back home?”
The question caught him off guard. Jack hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. We're trying to make it work long distance.”
Melissa's expression shifted, something like sympathy crossing her features. “That's tough.”
“It is.” Jack didn't know why he was admitting this to her. Maybe because she was a good listener. Maybe because he was too tired to keep it all locked up anymore. He’d come to the Academy, determined to be the best he could be in all areas… student, athlete, boyfriend. And hated that he wasn’t proving to be invincible.
“I'm not trying to be forward,” Melissa said carefully, “but I've seen this before. A lot of plebes come in with relationships back home. Most of the relationships don't make it through the first year.”
Jack felt something tighten in his chest. “We're committed. We’ve made it to our second year.”
“Maybe you are.” Melissa's tone wasn't unkind. “But Jack, you can barely keep your head above water right now. We’re all drowning. It’s part of the process. Adding the stress of trying to maintain a long-distance relationship on top of everything else...” She let the implication hang between them.
“You suggesting I should break up with her?” Jack's voice came out in a hoarse whispered rush. “Because we don’t have enough time for each other?”
“I think you need to be realistic about what you can handle right now.” Melissa met his eyes. “The Academy doesn't leave room for much else. And if you're constantly worried about someone back home, constantly feeling guilty about not having time for them, it's going to affect your performance here.”
Jack wanted to argue. Wanted to tell her she was wrong, that he could do it all, that Rachel was worth the struggle. But the truth was, he'd been thinking the same thing for weeks now. Every missed call. Every short text exchange that left both of them frustrated. Every moment he spent worrying about whether Rachel was waiting for him instead of focusing on what was in front of him.
“I'm not saying you don't care about her,” Melissa continued gently. “I'm just saying that maybe now isn't the best time for trying to maintain something that requires more than you can give.”
Jack stared at the floor, his throat tight. “Yeah,” he said quietly, the single word pulled from him, making him feel like shit.
Melissa briefly touched his arm, a gesture of understanding. “For what it's worth, if she's the right person, you'll find your way back to each other when the timing's better.”
She gave him a small smile and headed toward the women's locker room. Jack stood there for a long moment, her words echoing in his head. Then he pushed through the doors to the baseball complex.
Practice was brutal. The coach ran them hard, and when Jack's pitches started going wild in the seventh inning of the scrimmage, Coach called him over.
“Hudson, what the hell is going on with you?”
Jack straightened up, trying to look alert despite the exhaustion pulling at every muscle in his body. “Sorry, Coach. I'll dial it in.”
“You've been saying that for weeks.” Coach Hendricks crossed his arms, his expression hard. “Your mechanics are sloppy. Your focus is nonexistent. You're one of my best pitchers, but right now, you're playing like you don't give a damn.”
“I do give a damn,” Jack said, frustration bleeding into his voice. “I'm just?—”
