“The last we emailed, he was getting out of the Navy but hadn’t mentioned what he was planning to do.” Rachel blew out a long breath. “He didn’t tell me his plans, and I didn’t ask,” Rachel said, keeping her voice neutral. In truth, asking would mean hearing an answer that might gut her like so many times before. She'd worked hard to build a life that didn't revolve around her feelings for Jack Hudson.
“But you wish you did know,” Emma said softly.
Rachel met her friend's knowing gaze. “It doesn't matter what I wish. He's moved on. I've moved on. That's how it works.”
“Have you, though?” Cindy's question was gentle but pointed. “Because David is great, Rachel. He's good-looking, fit, and clearly adores you. Yet you keep him at arm's length.”
“I'm not—” Rachel started to protest, then stopped. Because Cindy was right. David Peterson was wonderful. He taught history at the high school, coached wrestling, and was always around. He even made her laugh. They'd been going out as friends for a few months, and he'd been nothing but patient and kind.
But when he'd tried to have the “where is this going” conversation last week, Rachel had deflected. When he'd hinted at taking her home to Roanoke to meet his family, she'd changed the subject. When he kissed her, it was nice.
But it didn't set her soul on fire the way Jack's kisses had.
“Well, as much as I loved the idea of you and Jack together,” Cindy said, her voice taking on a teasing tone, “I have to admit that David is really great! I can only imagine what a good kisser he must be?—”
“Hush!” Rachel couldn't help but laugh despite the ache in her chest. “The kids are coming back.”
“And that’s my cue to get back to my office,” Emma said. “Thank goodness it’s a short drive.”
Laura and Cindy laughed as they gathered their lunch bags, both giving Rachel knowing looks as they headed for the door.
“Just think about it,” Cindy said. “Life's too short to wait for what might not ever happen when someone wonderful is at your fingertips.”
It was true that David Peterson was a great date. He was the kind of man any woman would be lucky to have.
Yet she couldn't quite see herself with him forever.
Rachel set her phone down and rubbed her temples. The problem wasn't David. It was her. She had a hard time seeing forever with anyone other than Jack. Even after all these years. Even after he'd placed her squarely in the friend zone and left her there, seemingly without a backward glance.
Their emails over the past five years had been sparse, filled with careful updates on career milestones or brief holiday greetings. It was the kind of correspondence you'd have with an old friend, not someone who'd once been your whole world. He had lived a life that had nothing to do with her.
But after experiencing that level of love, she wasn’t willing to settle for just nice.
Rachel sat alone in her classroom, staring at her phone. Carrie's text was still on the screen, making her smile. When she saw Carrie at the grocery store or around town, Rachel would always make polite conversation. And Carrie, with her gentle, knowing eyes, would update Rachel on Jack’s life. Deployments. Promotions. Where he was in the world. Carrie never mentioned whether Jack was seeing anyone, and Rachel never asked. But she suspected his mom kept things gentle on purpose, protecting both of them from information that might hurt.
Rachel also suspected that Carrie had always hoped she and Jack would end up together. The thought made her chest ache.
Picking up her lunch bag, she walked around to the back of her desk and placed it in the drawer where she kept her purse.
Rachel pulled up her email and scrolled to the folder where she'd saved every message from Jack over the years. There were not many recent ones. The last one came two weeks ago. Short, professional almost.
Hey Rach. Hope you're doing well. I'm finishing up my time with the Navy. I will be out-processing soon, then will go into the Reserves. How's teaching going?
She'd responded with equal casualness, congratulating him on his service. Neither of them had mentioned the elephant in the room… what he was going to be doing.
Rachel closed her email and opened her messages instead, scrolling to David's name. His last text before Carrie’s meme had been short and to the point. Dinner Saturday?
She should say yes. Should let herself be happy with someone who was actually available and wanted to build a future. A future that was in the same place as her.
Her fingers hovered over her phone, but she couldn't make herself type the words.
Rachel figured that one day, Jack would meet someone. Someone who fit into his Navy life, who could handle the deployments and the distance. Someone who wasn't her. And she wondered how his mom would react when Jack finally brought that woman home to meet them.
But now Jack was out-processing from the Navy, yet he hadn't mentioned what he wanted to do next. Was he going to visit his family in Virginia before moving on? Was he with someone? If so, was he bringing her home?
She wished him well, but she always felt a little pang in her heart when she heard from him, knowing he had a life she knew little about. Knowing he was out there somewhere, living and breathing and being without her.
The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Rachel closed her phone without answering David’s dinner invitation. She stood, smoothed her skirt, and took a deep breath. In five minutes, her classroom would be filled with juniors ready to discuss their creative writing assignments. She needed to be present, focused, and the teacher they deserved.
