Her inhale was audible and she relaxed slightly in her seat. It was only then he realized how nervous she must have been.
It wasn't every day a young lady proposed a marriage of convenience.
She gave him a tentative smile. "You said you had something to tell me?"
He studied her. She'd relaxed a little, yes, but those honest, dark eyes couldn't hide anything. And right now they were wide and slightly desperate.
She was terrified. Not just of proposing, but of what his answer might be. He didn't have to remind himself of her predicament. She'd been through more scandals in one Season than most suffered in a lifetime.
And most of it was his fault. He scrubbed a hand over his eyes, aware that she was waiting for him to speak. She needed him to say yes. Not because she wanted this, but because she'd run out of options.
"Kit?" she prompted. "Did you— Were you going to— Did you want to tell me something?"
The mistress isn't mine. Our courtship wasn't fake. Not to me. It might have started that way, but at some point, I?—
He met her wide-eyed stare.
I fell in love with you.
The truth sat in his throat.
But what would it change? She'd still be out of options. Her parents would still choose for her if she didn't act. The ton would still believe the worst. And he'd put her in the uncomfortable position of having to manage his feelings on top of everything else.
He swallowed the truth. "It doesn't matter," he said. "It can wait."
Her brow creased. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "You're proposing that we marry. A practical arrangement with no expectations."
She nodded, her lip caught between her teeth.
"And this is what you want." He had to ask one more time. But in all honesty, he wasn't even sure what he hoped to hear.
"It's what makes sense," she said.
Not quite the same, was it? But he nodded. He'd gotten her into this mess. Whether she returned his feelings or not was beside the point.
All that mattered was that he owed it to her to make this right. "Then yes. I accept."
Her breath left her in a rush. Her whole body seemed to sag with relief.
"Good," she said. "That's…good. I'll have John speak with your aunt about the details."
"Of course," he murmured.
He tried for a smile, but he failed, and she wasn't looking anyway.
She stood. "Thank you, Kit."
He tried not to flinch. "It's I who should be thanking you."
He'd meant for charming, but it came out stilted and awkward.
She smiled, though, so perhaps she didn't notice. "I know this isn't what either of us planned."
No. What he'd planned was to walk into this room and tell her the truth and hope that she'd see him clearly and choose him anyway. Because she wanted to, not because she was desperate.
She seemed to be waiting for him to say something, so he added, "It's the smart choice. For both of us."
