I reeled as if she’d slapped me. No, as if she’d taken a wrecking ball to a carefully constructed castle and knocked down a wall. Or ten. A castle built to protect me. To keep me safe. That’s locked me in. A prison…
They just throw money at the problem…
“What the hell are you talking about?” I seethed, a sudden deep anger awakening in me. “Just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“You heard me,” Harper said, holding her ground. “Something isn’t right. And I think you know it. And I think—no, Iknow—you deserve more help than the pitiful bullshit nothing you’ve been getting.”
“Because you’re a doctor,” I said. “Because you sit next to me inoneclass and so you’ve made a diagnosis.”
“You can be pissed at me all you want, but I’m just saying what Iknow in my gut to be true.”
“Oh, you have a gut feeling,” I said, marveling at my ugly tone. The way I was snarling at her, as if this rage boiling up in me had been saving itself for this conversation. “Well, bloody good for you, love. I think I’ll leave you and your gut feeling to it, then. Tell Dash I said goodbye.”
“I will,” she said, her eyes filling now, her lower lip trembling.
I tossed my jacket over my shoulder and stormed out, hating myself for the anguish on her face. Hating the churn of emotions within me, and for what? Because she’d made one observation? Why was this tempest boiling up, hateful and angry? I should stay and try to make it right, but I didn’t trust myself. Better to leave and calm down. Better to get somewhere alone and wait until the storm subsided back below the deeps.
I drove back to Atlas Hall over mud-choked roads, my hands gripping the steering wheel.
It’s so obvious that something else is going on…
No, the fuck it wasn’t. Nothing wasobvious. Harper was just being defensive because I’d been a dick and crossed a line. I’d said something I shouldn’t have, so she’d said something she shouldn’t have. Something completely wrong.
I screeched the car into the Atlas Hall parking garage, threw it into my spot, and trudged to my apartment. Easton was sleeping but woke when I barged in, kicking off my shoes.
“Sorry,” I muttered, stripping back out of my tux shirt and pants.
“Long night?” he mumbled.
“You could say that,” I replied, tearing off my tux jacket. “I believe Harper and I set a new land-speed record for going from potentially perfect to absolute shit to bliss to absolute shit again in a single night.”
“Congratulations,” Easton said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “What happen—”
I hurled one of my dress shoes into the closet with a frustrated grunt.
“Orion?” Easton said into the silence that was broken only by myheavy breathing. “You good, man?”
“No,” I said. “I’m not.”
And I’m pretty sure it was the first honest thing I’d said since I woke up that morning.
***
The next day, I dragged my arse to chem, both dreading and wanting to see Harper. I was a jackass for what I’d said to her but had already dismissed what she’d said in retaliation. It was pure bollocks. We’d had a fight, so what? We could put it behind us and move on. Couples did that all the time.
In class, she arrived and took her seat stiffly beside me. Langford was late. As usual.
“Hello,” I said.
“Hello,” Harper replied coolly, organizing her materials.
“How’s the little man?”
“Fine,” she said. “He’s resilient. He asked about you.” Harper’s voice tightened, and she swallowed. “He wants to know when he’s going to see you again.”
“When is he going to see me again?”
“I don’t know,” she said softly. “I—”
