“That’s why I can’t do musical notation or tell you it’s a fucking ostinato. My brain is broken or…I’m a fucking moron.”
Wolfe watched me steadily, without a shred of pity, which was a good thing or else I was going to lose it. “You’re not a moron, Orion. In fact, you’re quite the opposite. You’re a genius—”
“Bollocks,” I said, standing up so hard and fast, I knocked over the bench. “I have to go. I have to…”
I started to for the exit, but Wolfe blocked my way, his gaze intent on me.
“Orion, don’t,” he said. “Don’t run away from this emotion. Don’t shove it down or ignore it or pretend like it doesn’t matter because it does. This is what’s holding you back. Let it out.Let it go.”
I shook my head. It was too much. Harper, and Dash, and Gideon, and the poison pills that make me sick and Rhett’s poisonous words…
“I’m just having a bad day,” I said. “That’s all it is. Forget I said anything. I can write just fine. I don’t know why the hell I said that.”
“Orion…”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Professor Wolfe.”
Then I pushed out into the Academy’s gleaming halls and headed to Atlas Hall on campus, because there was nowhere else for me to go.
Chapter 22Harper
“Ms. Bennett, Mr. Mercer, so glad you could join us,” Callister hadintoned.
I’d hated being late to history, because anything less that perfection meant I was falling behind, and I was already behind. I’d taken my seat at the front while Orion sat next to Tessa Carlyle. She was beautiful and sweet, and if I lost him to her, I’d probably deserve it.
You bludgeoned him about his ADHD, and that’s fucked up.
It didn’t matter that he was trying too hard to fix things with his money, at least he was trying to help. Even if he was going about it the wrong way, his heart was in the right place. He was the one good thing I’d had in my life, and I’d probably ruined it by blurting out what I should have said gently. Or not at all.
Yet Orion still wanted something with me. He still wanted to take me out on a date. He still wantedan us.
My eyes had stung, and I’d blinked hard to keep my notes from blurring. Meanwhile, behind me, Orion was struggling. Because even if I was wrong to whack him with my suspicions, I knew I was rightto have them.
After class, Orion hurried out without a word to anyone, looking completely burnt out, and was a no-show to piano. I felt his absence like a hole in my heart and dragged my feet to the student parking lot when the day was finally over. I spotted Dean heading to his old Camry.
“Hey, Dean.”
He had his head down, nose buried in his phone, which wasn’t like him.
“Dean.Dean.”
He looked up as I caught up to him. He looked nervous. Or guilty. “Oh, hey, Harper. Haven’t seen you at the Math and Physics Club lately. You good?”
“Yeah, just…busy. Are you okay?”
“Never better.” He flashed a strange, twitchy version of his usual smile and spoke a mile a minute. “But I have to run. Can’t talk now. I’m late. Maybe later?”
“Oh…sure?” Before I could say another word, he climbed into his car and drove off. “Good talk.”
But my flippant words were only a mask for the worry for my friend that I now added to the teetering stack of stress that threatened to bury me.
I picked up Dash from school and had a guy come out to give me an estimate about the roof. Nearly ten grand to replace the whole thing, or half that to merely plug the leaks.
“I’d replace the whole thing,” the guy said. “If we get another rager like we had last week, you’re just going to get new seepage. More seepage means greater the chance of black mold too.” He gave me a look. “Is your mom or dad home? Maybe I could talk to them.”
“No,” I said. “Thank you. We’ll be in touch.”
I made Dash dinner, and later that night, tucked him into bed.
