“What do you mean?”
“I thought I’d take the best classes and study and keep my head down, but it hasn’t been that simple.”
“How has it been?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
“Hard,” she said. “Really hard.”
My jaw, chest, and fists tightened all at once.Fucking senior prank.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” she said, hugging herself tighter. “I’ll be fine. It’s growing pains or whatever. This is a great opportunity, so I shouldn’t complain.I can manage.”
I can manage.How many times had I said the same thing to myself? A hundred? A thousand? The battle cry of the lone soldier.
“You’re right,” I said.
She kicked at a piece of charred wood. “About?”
“I have…something of a secret.”
“You do?”
“Yes. And it explains chemistry, history, and maybe even Wolfe’s oh-so-gentle critique of my Rachmaninoff. But before I tell it, we have to find a place to sit and warm you up.”
I found a fallen log suitable to my purposes, then took off my jacket and put it around Harper’s shoulders.
“You don’t have to—”
“Take my bloody jacket, Bennett,” I said, before she could argue.
Harper looked like shewasabout to argue, clearly not used to being offered help or accepting it, but finally put her arms in the sleeves. The jacket was too big for her, which for some primal, manly, caveman reason, made me feel possessive. As if she were somehow mine now. Protected from the elements because of me, and… Fuck, I was going to get aroused if I continued this line of thinking.
Harper’s eyes met mine. Her usual defensive composure fractured, and through the cracks, I saw the soft girl who had a hard time letting people see her real self too.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome.” I smiled. “Hey, we did it.”
“Did what? Had a normal exchange of words like normal people? I noticed.”
“We’d better not make a habit of it,” I said. “Who knows where we might end up?”
Somewhere real?
The words hung in the air between us in a cartoon bubble as I guided us to the fallen log.
“So, out with my secret, yes?” I said. “I have ADHD. It’s acomplicated case. At least, I think so.”
Harper’s eyes widened, and she looked pained. Distraught. “Why didn’t you tell me before? God, now I feel even worse for giving you a hard time about that stupid atomic model assignment. And recording Langford’s lectures.”
“No, no, it’s all right. I have my own way of dealing with it.”
“Your own way? You don’t have accommodations? An IEP?”
“I get test accommodations. Not much else. My parents don’t like to talk about it. In fact, my parents don’t like to talk about much of anything. It’s just not how we do it in my family.”
Now Harper looked angry on my behalf, which was sort of sweet. And new. I wasn’t used to having an ally in the trenches. My chest felt strangely heavy and light at the same time. Unburdened but self-conscious too.
