“I think she was a little homesick,” Teeny adds. It’s funny how smoothly they transitioned into this new norm. It’s like one minute, my sister found herself in a rut of a marriage, dealing with a husband who had a wandering eye, and the next, the person she least expected walked right back into her life, setting all the things that were tipped over, upright.
I start picking at my food with my chopsticks when I notice Kendall slouched over. She’s sitting on a folding chair, a strained smile pressing her lips together. Her hand is clutched to her diaphragm like she might be sick, and her face looks pale. Like she really is sick.
“I’ll be right back.” I set my plate down and stand. I round the edges of the pool, and when I reach her side, I bend down on one knee.
“You okay?” I ask, getting close to her ear. I say the words quietly, trying to keep a calm and even tone. I don’t know if I do a good job of it.
That smile pulls tighter, her best effort at putting on a brave face. “Yeah. Just a little queasy.”
“Was it something you ate?”
She shakes her head. “I haven’t eaten anything.”
Guilt rattles my insides. I don’t know how I didn’t notice. Between getting Sophia into the pool and helping my parents barbecue, I must’ve missed her skipping her own serving of food.
I run my hand up and down her back, hoping she doesn’t flinch away. She doesn’t. “Do you want to leave?”
She shakes her head. “Sophia’s having so much fun with Sadie. I just need to sip on some water.” She nods her head toward the water bottle at her feet.
I drag a chair closer to her to sit rather than crouch, making sure to stay by her side. I continue to rub soft circles into her back, and it seems to help. At least I hope it does.
Sophia does a flip off Sadie’s shoulders, squealing at us to look at her. She’s preparing for another hurdle when Kendall covers her mouth.
“I have to use the bathroom,” she whispers before dashing back into the house.
“Daddy! You aren’t looking!”
My attention is split between Kendall rushing inside and Sophia.
“Yeah, Soph. Go ahead,” I assure.
She does another jump, and Sadie high-fives her when her grinning face reemerges from the water.
“Daddy, did you see?”
“I did, bug,” I tell her. “Why don’t you keep practicing with Sadie? I’m going to check on Mommy.”
I walk inside after slipping off my shoes in front of sliding glass doors. It’s quiet inside since everyone is outside either gathered around the pool or manning the grill. I knock on the bathroom door offside to the kitchen.
“Kendall, you okay?”
I hear her retch. “Yeah, I just need a minute.”
I test the knob. I’m relieved when it turns. “What happened?”
“I don’t know.” She’s slumped over the toilet, and the image of her with her hair held back by her fist in a makeshift hair tie reminds me of when she was pregnant. When we were so hopeful and every episode of morning sickness was welcomed with the realization she was growing our baby inside of her.
Pregnant. Like a bucket of icy cold water, the memory is washed away with fear.
“I—uh, is…” I stutter. I do some mental gymnastics, trying to remember the last time we had sex.
Kendall peers at me over her shoulder, heaving a heavy breath. “What?”
“I don’t know,” I manage. “Why are you…nauseous?”
She stands up, flushing the toilet with the last bits of her energy. She walks to the sink and rinses her mouth. “I think it’s the medication.”
I don’t mean to, but I sigh. It comes out like a breath of relief, and Kendall sees every ounce of panic leave my body.
