“I need you too,” I tell him. “I know I act like I don’t, but I get really scared, and I worry if I need you too much, you might resent me for it, or I’d feel like a burden on you.”
“No.”
I nod. “I know now. I get it.”
Who knew honesty would’ve been the largest piece of the puzzle? We reached a breaking point and all it did was crackopen all the quiet secrets we’ve kept bottled up. I just wish it didn’t have to come at the cost of nearly breaking our marriage.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Kendall
NOW
“You know,if you guys moved out here, we could be doing this, like, every weekend.”
I smirk. “Mimosas and avocado toast every weekend? You don’t think you’d get tired of it?”
Sylvia firmly shakes her head. “Never.”
She clinks her champagne flute to mine, shielding her eyes from the sun gracing its presence after hiding behind a curtain of clouds. We left the girls with James and Tommy and decided we’d spoil ourselves with a little girl time—adultgirl time—while we have the chance.
“So you talked to James?” she inquires, hiding behind the lip of her glass to mask her eagerness. But I know her inquiry is out of concern and far from the reaches of gossip.
“We…talked.” A tilt of a smile only to stow away the other things we did besides talk.
“And are you two okay?”
Okay. It’s such an ambiguous word. If said correctly, it can ward off the nosiest of prying ears. If said in earnest, it can mean exactly what it means. Fine, acceptable, content, adequate. But in the grand scheme of things, okay for us right now is a new leaf.The benchmark used in our marriage is different than most, so okay for us is extraordinary.
“I think so,” I confess.
“So you’re taking him back?”
“Back?” I repeat the word as if it’s tainted, and I don’t mean to sound miffed.
“I just mean, since he came all this way,” she starts to explain. “He did it to get you back, right?”
“I hadn’t realized he didn’t…have me.”
“Sorry,” she says softly. “I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”
“No, it’s fine,” I tell her. “Obviously we have things to work through, and he came all this way to work things out with me, but…I don’t think it’s that simple.”
“I don’t think so either.”
“Is that bad? That we can’t just have sex in your shed and be a happy couple again?”
She leans forward, ducking her head. “You had sex in our shed? The one in the backyard?”
The details of our rainy-day detour were left behind in their shed by the time Sylvia and Tommy returned home with the girls. We didn’t say anything about what happened during the few hours they were away, but there was a palpable change between us, I know Sylvia and Tommy noticed. They probably talked about it while getting ready for bed. Especially after finding our frenetic appearance with my mussed-up hair and his shirt rumpled. While we used the weather as an excuse, I don’t know if they believed us.
I can’t help the laugh bubbling up my chest. “We did.”
“You little slut,” she playfully accuses.
“But sex isn’t the answer to our problems.”
“No,” she agrees. “It helps, but it’s definitely not the solution.”
