She shifted to a high voice. ‘?“Oh Dylan JM, I’m afraid I’m going to need to see that in writing before I can respond, and that’ll take seven to ten business days.”’
‘?“Oh Dylan G, I understand. I’ll get this heart necklace right in the mail.”’
‘?“Oh Dylan JM, please include a stamped self-addressed envelope in case I decide to return it.”’
‘?“Oh Dylan G, absolutely, it would be my honour, but would you mind if I kissed—”’
‘Stop!’ Amanda and I said at the same time.
Lily looked from Amanda to me and back again. ‘You two are both such stupid saps,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘Honestly.’
Amanda sniffed. I clenched the packet of tea bags so tightly that it crumpled in my fist.
Lily rolled her eyes.
Then she glanced up at one of the cameras mounted in thecorner, and that signature half-smile of hers curved her lips. ‘Hey, racist,’ she said. ‘You awake?’
Heather took her hand away from her eyes and sat up. ‘What did you call me?’
The fight between Lily and Heather was, unsurprisingly, long and painful. If it didn’t make the episode cut of the finale itself, it would definitely end up being an extended extra on the website.
But even they ran out of steam eventually. Twilight fell, and then full darkness, and we were still in the living room of the Convent, waiting for Murray.
Amanda started pacing. ‘You don’t think Stage Four restrictions have been extended, have they?’ she asked. ‘I’m going to go out of my mind if I have to stay here any longer.’
‘Relax,’ Lily, now draped artistically over an armchair, said. ‘If there was a chance of that, they wouldn’t have shipped everyone else off before.’
‘That’s true,’ Amanda said, more to herself than anyone else. ‘That’s true, that’s true.’
She stopped for a while, but then the pacing started up again. ‘What if they have to bring everyone back?’ she said. ‘Their limos might get turned around somewhere.’
‘Then they’d move us back up to the Juliet Villa,’ Lily said, studying her fingernails. ‘They wouldn’t keep us cooped up in this two-bedroom shack when there’s a mansion at the top of the hill. We’d go up there and the Dylans would move in here.’
‘I’m going to go and get some air,’ I said hastily, and escaped out to the verandah before I started picturing Dylan moving his new girlfriend into the Convent.
I closed my eyes and rested my hands on the balcony railing, taking a deep breath of the night air.Breathe in calm, I imagined Jenifer saying to me.Breathe out anxiety.
I breathed in calm, long and slow and steady. I breathed out, trying to force all the tangled feelings in my belly out.
It didn’t work. I don’t think Jenifer had anticipated that one person could be feeling so many feelings all at once.
You’re going to be all right, I told myself. Everything is going to be all right.
I was always all right in the end, wasn’t I? This wasn’t my first heartbreak. And I’d survived so much worse than heartbreak. I was going to survive this too.
Of course I would survive it. I had an embarrassment of riches ahead of me! I was going to make more money than I ever dreamed, enough that I’d never have to depend on anyone.
It didn’t feel like I would survive it. Every single part of me hurt. Most of my internal organs felt like they’d been replaced with rocks. I ached, all the way down to my bones.
This was what happened when you let yourself want what you couldn’t have.
But I would survive it. I would.
I breathed in again and opened my eyes. Everything will be all right, I tried to make myself believe.
The stars glittered white in the night sky. There was another light too, coming down the hill towards us. A golf cart. Murray must finally be on his way.
That meant it was over. The final shot of the show had been filmed. Dylan had made his decision.
