‘Anything. Tell me about your emotional state right now.’
‘Well, I’m pretty mad at Lily Fireball.’
Murray gave me a thumbs up. I felt weirdly proud. ‘Tell me more about that. Do you think Dylan JM should let Lily Fireball stay in the Villa?’
‘No, I don’t think Dylan JM should let Lily Fireball stay in the Villa,’ I said. ‘Not after that kind of behaviour. I know she didn’t mean for me to end up in the pool, but you can’t go around pushing and shoving people. That’s not right.’
He gave me another thumbs up. The feeling of pride grew,like I was a kid who’d done unexpectedly well on a spelling test.
‘And I don’t like it when women attack other women,’ I added, emboldened. ‘I know we’re all competing for the same man, but that kind of behaviour is toxic.’
‘You study criminology, don’t you, Cece?’
‘Yes, I study criminology,’ I said. ‘I’m very passionate about it.’
‘Would you say that’s because you have a strong sense of justice?’
‘Well, there are a lot of reasons,’ I said. ‘Justice is part of it, but—’
‘Cece,’ Murray interrupted, raising his eyebrows at me, ‘wouldn’t you say that you have a strong sense of justice?’
Oh.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I have a strong sense of justice.’
‘What would you say to Lily if she were here right now?’
I could see the promo now, unfurling in my mind, just like it would on TV. They’d show some clips of me stammering my way through sentences, some more of me trying to hide in the corners, then me careening into the pool, and then…
After the break: the underdog fights back.
God bless Lily. She’d gone and shoved me right into some screen time. More than that: she’d shoved me into a storyline. She’d made sure I wasn’t going to be a background player. She’d shoved me into being a main character.
‘If Lily were here right now,’ I said, straightening my spine, ‘I would tell her that she doesn’t know who she just messed with.’
It took wardrobe about twenty minutes to get me ready to re-enter the First Night Party after Murray and I finished up. It would have taken two if they didn’t decide that the replacement outfit they’d originally chosen fit me too well and they needed to make me look like more of a bedraggled mess, but eventually, wearing a men’s dress shirt over some black yoga pants and with my hair full of sea salt spray (‘for that real just-been-dunked look,’ the hairstylist said to me, ignoring the fact that I had just been dunked), they let me go back out.
All the cameras swivelled to focus on me as I walked out into the garden. My joints suddenly felt like they’d rusted in to place.
Ignore the cameras, Murray said in my mind.Just do what you need to do.
Breathe out anxiety, Jenifer crooned.Breathe in calm.
I let out a long, shaking breath.
‘Oh my God, Cece, are you okay?’ Amanda said, rushing up to me, a camera trailing behind her.
‘What an absolute cow,’ Hero Nurse Dylan added. There was another camera behind her.
Ignore them. I had to ignore the cameras. Think of the money, James. Think of Instagram.After the break: the underdog fights back. Be a main character.
‘Wh-where is she?’ I said. ‘Where’s Lily Fireball?’
‘Did I hear someone say my name?’
The crowds parted in a very dramatic, very unrealistic way (had they rehearsed that while I was in with Murray?), and Lily strutted towards me, a smirk curling her lips. ‘So the littledrowned rat is back,’ she said. ‘And someone gave you the shirt off their back. Cute.’
A cameraman kneeled down on the ground and angled his lens up at me. There were two more jostling for position behind Lily. The boom mic dipped in low.
