But here, playing Love Jockey Hockey, as Lily Fireballtripped me over with her flamingo for what felt like the seventieth time and then deliberately walked over me, her foot landing hard between my shoulder blades, I was sixteen again, with Fiona grinding my face into the ground.
‘Foul!’ Dylan yelled. ‘Lily! Come on!’
‘It was an accident!’ she called back sweetly. ‘I swear.’
Hero Nurse Dylan offered me a hand up. ‘You okay?’
‘Fine,’ I replied. ‘Thanks.’
It wasn’t exactly the truth. I was going to be covered in bruises by the next day. But what little pride I had had been activated. I wasn’t going to let Lily see me squirm.
‘Half-time!’ Z called. ‘The Villa is currently ahead of the Convent, two goals to one.’
Lily deliberately let her shoulder smash into mine as we walked past each other to our team huddles, and something inside me snapped. ‘What the fuck is your problem?’
‘Cut!’ the director called. ‘No swearing!’
Cameras jockeyed for position around us. I blew my hair out of my eyes, trying to act nonchalant.
But there were so many of them. Where had they all come from? Surely they shouldn’t have this many cameras here, not with the pandemic. Weren’t they supposed to be running on a skeleton crew?
‘Back to one!’ the director called.
It took me about five seconds too long to realise what he meant. My legs were shaky as I retraced my steps.
‘Rolling. In three, two…’
Lily smashed into me so hard that she knocked me over.
‘Hey!’ my Dylan said, jogging over. ‘Lily. Come on.’
‘It’s not my fault she’s clumsy,’ she said, that saccharine smile on her face again. ‘I barely tapped her.’
His fingers were warm on mine as he hauled me to my feet. My treacherous, traitorous, touch-starved heart leaped again. ‘You okay?’ he asked.
I nodded, dusting myself off.
His voice lowered. ‘You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.’
‘Of course you don’t, sweetie,’ Lily said, batting her eyelashes at me. ‘You can just go back to your little nun house. Go back to being a one-episode wonder.’
I set my teeth. ‘I’ve got this.’
‘Back to one,’ the director said.
I channelled Jenifer as I retraced my steps.Breathe out anxiety. Breathe in calm.
There were so many cameras. All trained on me.
Good, I thought fiercely. Let them see me take this bitch down.
‘Rolling. In three, two…’
Our shoulders smashed into each other. ‘What the hell is your problem?’ I snapped.
‘I don’t have a problem,’ Lily said. ‘I’m just doing reconnaissance.’
‘What?’
