Predictably, Kumiko, Parisa and Jess D finished way before everyone else, firing several ridiculous heart plushies into the heart-shaped pool with their love machine. They got sent off to record in-the-moment interviews while the other two groups kept working and bickering in equal measure. I also had access to the in-the-moments, I discovered, and tuned in. ‘How did it make you feel that Dylan picked your team to come and talk to first?’ Suzette the producer asked Kumiko.
‘I loved that Dylan came and helped our team out first,’ Kumiko said. ‘I know in a group date setting he’s not allowed to play favourites, but it really made me feel like he was gunning for us and that he was hoping we would win.’
‘Do you think anyone’s going to beat your record? Your team managed to launch eight of your twenty hearts into the pool with your love machine.’
‘Our team had heart, and we threw those hearts as far aswe possibly could,’ she replied, laughing. ‘I don’t think anyone’s going to beat our total.’
‘Do you think Dylan will pick you for the one-on-one time if your group does win?’
‘I’d love it if Dylan picked me for the one-on-one time,’ Kumiko said, smiling. ‘He and I have a strong connection and great chemistry, and it gets stronger every time we’re together. I just need more time with him.’
My stomach twisted.I just need more time with him.
We were clawing and scratching and fighting each other up at the Villa to get time with him,Jess K had snarled at me.We were humiliating ourselves for it.
Kumiko was an Amal Clooney-esque human rights lawyer, and here she was, building a love machine – a fuckinglove machine– for a chance at something my desperate unemployed broke eliminated arse got all the time.
In a few weeks’ time, one of these women was going to be Dylan’s girlfriend. The thought that he might find an actual life partner here might freak him out, but he was always going to pick a girlfriend at the end.
One of these women was going to be on the front of all the TV mags with him. She was going to be doing Eat Well Today unboxings with him on Instagram. She was going to be on the talk-show circuit with him, on his arm at awards ceremonies, in his arms, in his bed, in his life, eating breakfast with him in the morning and curling up on the couch with him at night.
She’d be the one throwing grapes at him that he miraculously caught in his mouth. She’d be the one who saw his face light up whenever he talked about his family. She’d be the onewho saw his thumb and middle finger tapping together and reached over and put her hand on his.
She’d be the one helping him breathe.
Dylan was struggling with being the Romeo. That was obvious. That was why he was spending so much time with me.
But it wasn’t good. Not for either of us. Every time we were together, I wanted what I couldn’t have even more, and he was training himself to rely on the wrong person.
Was this why he’d been staying away the last few days? Had he figured this out? Was he too worried about seeming cruel to rip the Band-Aid off the way Jordan had when he’d broken up with me? Was he doing a sort of friendship slow fade?
‘Can you see yourself with Dylan?’ Suzette asked Kumiko.
‘I can definitely see myself with Dylan,’ Kumiko replied, smiling brilliantly. ‘I think we could have a beautiful love story.’
It reminded me of what I’d told him about Belinda. That even if he knew it wasn’t going to be her, he could do right by her by getting her some screen time and helping her be the main character for a while.
It was the same thing the women in the Convent yelled at me all the time. That it wasn’t fair that I got all this time with him. This timeon camerawith him.
I’d been ignoring them. Because I was selfish. Because I wanted the screen time and the money and everything that came along with it. Because when he looked at me like the most fascinating person in the world, it made me feel like a blessing, not a burden.
But they were right. It wasn’t fair.
Marry Me, Julietwas a love story, and it wasn’t fair to anyone for me to keep pretending I was one of the main characters in it.
Kumiko’s team was going to win the challenge, I decided. When I told Dylan my decision, I was going to tell him that she should get the one-on-one time.
And I was going to rip the Band-Aid off and tell him that he should spend more time with his potential girlfriends and less with me.
I rehearsed what I’d say to him in my mind as I flicked my audio through more of the channels. Lily had apparently demolished the love machine that Amanda had started building, because her team was back at stage one.We’re friends and we’re always going to be friends, I’d say.But you didn’t come here to find a friend, Dylan. You came here to find a girlfriend.
Heather, Belinda and Naya seemed like they’d sorted out their differences, because they’d finished their love machine and were shooting in-the-moment interviews now too. ‘… would have gone so much faster if Naya didn’t make so much trouble,’ Heather was saying.
Dylan would protest.But I love spending time with you, he’d say.You’re keeping me sane, Cece.
‘Why don’t you get along with Naya?’ Murray was asking Heather the questions. Of course, she’d been in our limo, so she was one of his contestants.
Trust me, Dylan, I’d reply,it’s not like I don’t want to spend this time with you, but surely—
