I wanted to turn on my heel and run out of the room and never stop running.
She looked away first, muttering something under her breath that I didn’t catch. My heart felt like a stone in my chest.
What the fuck was I supposed to do?
It wasn’t the first time I’d asked myself that question over the past five months. Or the hundredth. Or the thousandth. I’d gone over it, again and again and again. But there wasn’t a whiteboard on earth that would help me flowchart my way out of this one.
I loved her. I would never stop loving her. That was a fact. Nothing would, or could, ever change it.
But I couldn’t trust her.
Her dramatic instincts had been better than mine. The story we’d ended up telling, about our two pairs of lovers fighting the reality TV juggernaut to be together, was much better than the one I’d planned about the Dylans. And, as a bonus, it had created two couples who were probably going to go the distance.
That she’d been right about the story, I could admit. And maybe, in the time and space I’d asked from her, I could have forgiven the fact that she’d kept things from me. That she’d undermined my plan.
What was I supposed to do, though, with the fact that she’d signed on toWherefore Art Thou Romeo?? Without even consulting me?
I knew exactly what she’d say, if I confronted her about it.I consulted you,she’d say.We talked about my five-year plan, remember?
There, though, was precisely the problem.
She talked.
I listened.
It wasn’t a consultation. It wasn’t a relationship. It wasn’t a partnership, not anymore, not like the one we’d had.
I’d spent a lot of time shoving things down and pretending it wasn’t true, but that partnership had died when Lily Fireball was born.
Lily Fireball did whatever the fuck she wanted. And the only choice I had left was whether I was willing to be walked all over.
She found me later. Of course she did. Lily Ong was the queen of avoidance, but she never let anyone else get away with it.
‘I brought you something,’ she said.
I was sitting at one of the tables in the private VIP area we’d sectioned off for the four women to escape to if the fans got too intense. I had my eyes closed, leaning my head back against the wall, but I opened them in time to see Lily set down a silver tray.
‘I made a bespoke Murray O’Connell canape tray,’ she said. ‘I’ve been chasing the waiters around for the last half an hour, trying to get all the ones I thought you’d like.’
It was an impressive effort. She’d collected nine different kinds.
‘I know you probably haven’t eaten all day.’ She nudged the tray towards me. ‘So even if you won’t talk to me – please eat.’
I picked up an arancini ball. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’
It was lukewarm, but delicious. The tiny taste made me ravenous. It was hard to resist the urge to grab canapes by the fistful and stuff them down my throat.
‘The show turned out brilliantly,’ Lily said. ‘Congratulations.’
I picked up a baby asparagus spear wrapped in prosciutto. ‘It was a team effort.’
‘I heard you pulled off a huge twist in Kumiko’s season too.’
I took a bite, mostly to give myself an excuse not to say anything.
‘Please talk to me,’ she said quietly. ‘Please.’
