‘Excellent job.’ I gave him a thumbs up. ‘You’re killing it.’
‘Are you sure? I can do it again if you want.’
For fuck’s sake.
‘Tell me what you need me to say,’ he said, ‘and I’ll say it.’
That was an interesting promise. I filed it away for later. ‘You’re doing fine, mate. Tell me what you thought of Amanda.’
We ran through all the Juliets. He’d vibed with Amanda – ‘She put me totally at ease’. Cece had fallen apart on him (Ihadto remember to give her that pep talk, I wasn’t going to get anything useful out of her if she couldn’t keep her shit together), and he didn’t have much to say about Heather, but he talked enthusiastically about some of Suzette and Carrie’s contestants – especially Kumiko the human rights lawyer, Parisa the research scientist, Naya the engineer, and Marija the philanthropist – which I made a mental note to feed back to them. We weren’t running the kitty this year, so there was no cash on the line for any of us, but these were all narrative threads we could potentially develop.
‘Last one,’ I said, steeling myself. ‘Tell me what you thought of Lily Fireball.’
Romeo-Dylan hesitated. ‘Um…’
I let the silence unfold: partly because riding the silence was the right move to make, but mostly because, despite my ability to keep my feelings off my face, I wasn’t sure I could keep them out of my voice.
‘Lily Fireball seems like a force of nature,’ Romeo-Dylan said eventually. ‘Like she’s not scared of anything or anyone. Like she’ll go after whatever she wants, no matter the consequences.’
‘And that’s the kind of thing you look for in a woman, right?’
‘I… suppose?’
‘Full sentences, mate.’
‘I’m not sure what Lily would be like as a partner,’ he said, ‘but it would certainly be an adventure.’
He had no idea how cleanly he’d hit the nail on the head.
‘Just a heads up, I’m not going to pick her tonight.’
‘Hmmm?’
‘Lily Fireball. I’m not going to pick her tonight. At the Necklace Ceremony.’
That wasn’t a surprise. Lily’s had been the only red carpet introduction I’d properly paid attention to, and she’d run a villain special on Romeo-Dylan.I’m Lily Fireball,she’d purred,and I don’t like your tie.
I’d only had audio, so I couldn’t see what was happening, but Romeo-Dylan had made a sharp surprised sound, and Keira had reported back to me that Lily had ripped his tie off and thrown it into the garden.I know what I like and I know what I don’t like,she’d told him,and if I like you, I won’t let anything or anyone stand in my way.
Even ties?he’d said.
I’ll tear any article of clothing I don’t like right off your body.And if you’re lucky, eventually I’ll tear the ones I do like off too.
Things would be so much easier if I could just let Romeo-Dylan eliminate her. If she was only onMarry Me, Julietfor one episode, I might be able to edit Lily Fireball out entirely.
‘You can’t cut her, mate,’ I told Romeo-Dylan. ‘Network’s orders. She’s going to be the season villain. We’ve got to keep her until at least Episode Eight.’
He looked aghast. ‘That’s two thirds of the season!’
‘Dylan, we’ve discussed this. You and I both want this season to do well, and that means story is king.’
‘A love story!’
‘Yes, but we’ve got to balance that with conflict,’ I said, hating that I was running the same line on him as Lily had on Fucking Greg. ‘We’ve got to have obstacles to overcome if we want the audience to be invested in the love story. She’ll be a great obstacle.’
‘Okay, fine.’ Romeo-Dylan’s thumb and middle finger started to tap together. ‘But how am I going to make anyone believe she and I are well-suited enough for me to keep her around?’
‘You’ve done a great job so far. That thing you said about her being a force of nature – if we cut that together with the right music, we can frame it really positively.’
