She sits up, and our eyes come together in a heated blaze. “I have to know my husband’s middle name.” The moment of heavy conversation from the fair comes rushing back.
Quinn reaches for my hand and links ours together, smiling. My heart is racing and I should man up right this second and ask her to stay. I should.
But there’s so much I still have to take care of, so much she doesn’t know. I can’t ask her to promise me anything. Not yet. Even if I want to.
“What’s your greatest fear?” she asks.
“Losing.”
Her brows dip. “The rodeo?”
I shake my head. “Sadie.”
Her expression is tender and beautiful, but filled with sadness. “I don’t think that will happen. Our plan will work.”
I ignore that comment and instead nod, dragging my hand over my damp hair. I had to shower before I came down, despite the fact I was dying to get down here before she went to her room. “What’s your greatest fear?”
Twister gave me a run for my money, and my wrist and shoulder are throbbing damn near out of the socket with wild radiations of sharp, foul pain. Still, even in my silent aching, nothing takes precedence over my heart.
“Never having anyone so important in my life that my greatest fear is losing them.”
Out of the blue my heart is beating so damn hard I’m nearly seeing two.
Her answer comes so easily, it’s obvious that being alone or not falling in love is Quinn’s greatest fear. Learning that threatens to shatter my heart, and I shake my head. “Your fear won’t ever be realized, Quinn. No possible way.”
She looks down at the blanket I draped over her tanned, soft legs. She was tan when she arrived but now it’s from the sun, from being out in the pasture, from wearing those damn pink boots and miniskirts when she should’ve been in jeans and a damn hat to protect her head.
Stubborn, but so gorgeous.
Quinn plucks at the blanket some more. It’s a quilt made up of T-shirts, faded beyond recognition since it’s the one Sadie spreads across the lawn every summer. She points at one of the old T-shirts still legible and reads off the business name. “Sable Sky Veterinarian. Is that where Dr. Vargas works?”
I confirm. “She owns it.”
“And you and her?” she hedges, not finishing her thought, but I follow. I know just what she’s asking.
I shake my head and tell her the truth. “I haven’t dated anyone since Amelia passed away, Quinn. I haven’t wanted to spend time with another woman until you.”
“God,” she whines, bringing her hand to her eyes for a moment before wincing. “I’m going to ruin the moment here, but, uh.” She motions to… my groin. “Did you?”
I shake my head, honestly. “Jerk off in the shower? No, I mean, I thought about it.” I can’t help but smirk, and she blushes, and my chest tightens dangerously. “But I didn’t.”
Her embarrassment turns into a sly, adorable smile. “I meant, did you buy condoms?”
“Ahh,” I nod. “Yes, and I’ll have you know, I told the cashier I just got married. I showed her a picture of you.” The back of my neck burns at just the memory of buying condoms. It’s always awkward looking a cashier in the eye when they know what you’re on the brink of doing, murder or intercourse. Luckily for me, I only had plans to not become a father again.
Not that it would be disliked if I did.
I don’t want to tie Quinn down if she doesn't want to be, and she’s young. She wants to travel the world and make films, and she’ll be famous for her work one day. No doubt.
But I can’t lie to myself and say I don’t want it just because it’s not convenient. Sometimes the most rewarding things in life are the hardest to achieve. Like the rodeo. But I achieve everything I set out to when it comes to that arena. But with Quinn, I can’t quite decide. One day it feels fair to pursue her, because why not? We have chemistry, of that much I’m damn certain. I may not have been out there for years, but there’s a buzzing in the air when I’m around her, the kind that occupies space in your lungs and makes it hard to breathe. Makes your brain a little fuzzy, a tiny bit lovesick. Makes you kind of a fool. Because the love ispotent, so obvious, yet still so forbidden and unacknowledged.
I felt that with her. I feel that with her.
She laughs and my heart feels a million things at once, like a bed of pins being pushed against it, each one a different emotion. “I bet you did.” She shakes her head and her blonde hair grabs the light. Dryness stings my throat. “Men are so pathetic. It’s your penis. Don’t be scared of buying condoms. She knows you have sex.” She rolls her eyes, but her lips curve playfully. “You have a child.”
“Tsk.” That’s neither here nor there. “I don’t want her to know when I’m doing it. Or even think about me doing it.”
She laughs, and I get a little worried at how easily she’s laughing, and for how long. “You realize that women are already doing that all the time already? Not just if we see you buy condoms.” She smiles and licks her lips in a way that makes my dick perk up. “We’re total horndogs too.”
