I don’t like that I’m new to any part of his life, because it irrationally makes me feel left out. I’m sure Jenna knows all about the sport of rodeo, and the injuries the athletes incur. Jenna.
I thought I was okay.
I pull back and turn off the water and brace my hands on the counter behind me, facing Landry. “Hey.”
He sets his mug down, fully aware of the mood shift. “Hey.”
I chew the inside of my cheek for a moment, shuffling around words in my mind, wanting to make sure this comes off as sincere and curious, not jealous and petty. Though I’m not sure that the question isn’t coming from a place of all of those emotions.
“I don’t really know how to start this conversation,” I admit, cheeks flaming as my eyes drop to my bare toes andthe tips of his worn cowboy boots. “Is Jenna stopping by something I should… get used to?” I don’t like the way asking this question makes me feel, and as that occurs to me, I realize I need to tell him that, too.
“I hate the way I feel asking this. I don’t want to hate asking you anything, but I can’t stop seeing her on our couch, touching you, being with you… while I’m not home.” I look up and find that Landry is reaching back, gripping the counter the same way that I am, his head tipped to the side.
He shakes his head. “No, Jenna stopping by is not something you’ll need to get used to. And I’m sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable.” He shakes his head, raking a hand down his face. “No, I mean, I’m sorry that was uncomfortable for you. I’m sorry she stopped by.” His smile is slow and soft. “I’ll tell you as much as I need to, I am not at all interested in Jenna.”
I nod my head, because I knew that would be his response. Because Landry and I are in love, and when you are in love, you don’t cheat.
Devin never loved me. And the truth? I didn’t love him. Sure, I didn’t want to get cheated on, but I wasn’t in love with him. It hurt more to think my work was affected by the demise of our relationship than the betrayal itself.
With Landry, it’s different.
“I know,” I tell him. “I know you don’t. I just… I don’t know. She gives me a weird feeling and I’m having a hard time shaking it.”
When Landry doesn’t immediately respond and simply blinks at me for a minute, that nagging feeling in my belly ignites into a flurry, passing through my veins, stinging my eyes.
“Hey,” he says softly as my eyes mist. Landry reaches outand collects me with his hands, dragging me to him by the hips. “I love you, Quinn.”
I nod. “I love you, too.” I wipe my eyes on his T-shirt. “I’m sorry. I just… I think the stress of not knowing the premiere location, your injury, the event next week… it’s all getting to me.”
“I understand,” he consoles, stroking his palm down the length of my spine, soothing me. “Everything is going to be okay,” he promises, kissing the top of my head before pulling back, putting a foot between us. “And it’s because of you. You came here and you made life good again, Quinn.”
I roll my lips together. “Thank you for saying that.”
He kisses the tip of my nose as the sound of little boots hit the stairs. “I mean it. It’s true.”
Sadie appears in the kitchen, wearing pink leggings and aWoody’s Round Upt-shirt, her hair in a tangled mess. “I’m gettin’ Big Bertha!” she exclaims, wiggling her feet around in my pink boots, which I left by the door. She trudges out, struggling to walk, looking adorable wearing my boots. Landry lifts his hat from the rack and sets it over his messy hair. “I oughta get out there and help her,” he says, giving me one last peck on the cheek before disappearing out the door.
He said he loves me. He said Jenna means nothing. Am I really the type of woman who doesn’t believe her husband? Is this just Devin trauma resurfacing because things are getting serious?
I don’t know. But I don’t like this version of myself.
Peering out the window, I see that Sadie and Landry aren’t even at the coop just yet. They stopped to pet Daisy, and as much as I hate myself for it, I take the opportunity.
Quickly, I duck down the hall and slip into Landry’s office. He doesn’t spend a lot of time there, but I noticed a fewweeks back that when he’s arguing with the creditors and banks, he makes those calls in the office. I understand that.
Closing the door behind me, I make my way to his desk and take it in. Papers with red ink scattered everywhere. Due dates, past due, threats to turn things off and take things back. Not much looks different from the last time I was in here.
Then I see it.
His cell phone.
I’ve seen Landry on his cell phone all of two times.
Still, it’s sitting on top of the papers, and the battery is fully charged, like he’s used it recently. Maybe even used it here recently.
I stare at the phone, debating if I really need to look through it. I’m with him nonstop, well, nearly. In those few hours we’re apart when he’s with Sadie or working part of the ranch that I don’t film, is he really using those few hours to… have an affair?
It doesn’t even make sense.
