I blinked, struggling to process his words. My heart ached, and I could tell the pain in Xavier's voice was genuine.
“Why doesn’t he want to see me?” I whispered, the question barely escaping my lips. Xavier stood and crossed the room with purposeful strides. His strong, calloused hand cupped my chin, gently guiding me to meet his gaze.
“You’ve done nothing wrong,” he said, his voice surprisingly soft. His touch was warm and grounding, “He’s upset with me, with himself, the situation. That’s all.”
I shook my head, his fingers slipping away from my skin. I turned away from him, unable to face him any longer.
“Zara,” he said, his voice almost a plea.
“I want to be alone if that’s alright,” I replied, my voice a soft, desperate whisper. Silence followed, and when I turned to speak again, Xavier was gone, and I was alone.
Chapter 24
Xavier
I shadowed away from Zara and reappeared back in Jaxon's room. The darkness was dense, almost tangible, but I knew every corner of this space by heart. My steps were soft as I moved, and I settled into one of the worn chairs in the far corner. The leather creaked under my weight, and Jaxon shifted on the bed.
Jaxon gave a barely audible sigh that told me he was aware I was there. He had been a mess; all my brother had ever wanted was a mate, and this twisting of our souls tricked him into believing he had finally found her. Except he had found mine instead.
I think that after all the betrayal he committed, it comforted him to know he had someone on his side, a mate. Someone who would truly understand him and stand by him. But to have that taken from him…I think he was punishing himself, and Zara in the process.
Today wasn’t the first fight he had picked with me, and despite how angry I was at him for what he had done, he wasstill my little brother. I would never cause any actual harm to him, and in time, I could forgive him, but he also had to forgive himself.
He had been depressed and holed up in his room, barely eating, drinking, bathing. The first few days, Aria had tended to him; he had allowed it until I think he snapped out of whatever daze he had been in and realized she was there. Realized who it was.
Aria didn’t deserve his anger, and she stormed from the castle soon after. We had taken shifts looking in on him since.
“Does she hate me?” Jaxon’s voice called out in the dark.
“She’s confused and hurt, but she does not hate you.” I sighed, trying to keep my voice neutral.
“She should.” His words were a bitter murmur as he shifted on the bed. “You all should.”
“You need to stop wallowing in self-pity, Jaxon,” I said gruffly. “Yes, you messed up. Yes, everyone is angry. But Zara doesn’t hate you, and Morgana is still out there. We need to start preparing.”
“She is out there because of me,” he whispered, his guilt coating his words.
“She was apparently always out there,” I shot back.
Jaxon didn’t respond, and I huffed in frustration. “Don’t leave your mess for others to clean up. Fight. You wanted to find her, you did, now do something about it.”
Jaxon flung himself out of his bed, power lighting up the room—my power. Jaxon grabbed his nightstand and threw it across the room, the wood splintering against the stone. I stayed in my chair, not rising or reacting to his tantrum. “I wanted to find our mother, not her,” he spat, and my chest tightened.
After centuries, a rumor sparked so much hope in my brother of our mother being alive that he had risked it all. My eyes softened as I looked at him.
“Do not pity me, brother,” Jaxon hissed angrily. “Nothing good has come from me helping. Nothing.”
“Are you done?” I said coolly, and Jaxon stood in front of me, breathing heavily with rage. “Your problem, brother, is that you did it alone. You aren’t alone anymore.”
Jaxon scoffed and started to turn away, but I stood abruptly, grabbing his throat. “Look at me!” I demanded my words, a guttural commanding growl. Jaxon flinched back, meeting my gaze.
“I could have let you rot in the dungeon; I could have killed you. I could have burned the entire fatesdammed realm down and dragged you straight to hell myself.” My grip on his throat tightened. “Do you know why I didn’t, Jaxon? Do you?!”
Jaxon stayed quiet, his eyes narrowing on me with malice. I threw him backward, and he stumbled from the force.
“You want to wallow? Do it after you help us take down the enemy. If you don’t care about your life, then care about theirs! The men, women, and children who will die if we don’t do something about it.” I shook my head at him in disappointment, but Jaxon only turned and went back to his bed. “You can’t hide in here forever, Jaxon.”
Silence.
