My gaze strays to Nick. Without a word, he disappears into the passenger side of Addie’s Toyota. When he’s gone, I sob-smile. “Get my Windsor Prep scholarship back?”
“Something more realistic?”
I chomp down on the inside of my cheek, willing the fresh tears to back off.
“Want me to talk to Grey?” she suggests.
I shake my head.
“How about Jake? Want me to talk to him?”
I shake my head.
“Stacey?” She throws a right cross into the shadows. “I can drive straight to Arizona and talk the hell out of that one. Or, you know, just deck her.”
She says it to be funny and laughs a little with it, but instead, her words stick in my mind. I think of Grey running into that brawl and how worried I was that he might take a punch his brain couldn’t handle. I shake my head to clear it, and force out the words. “She’s actually here. She’s the one who told me about her and Grey.”
The tears start coming again.
“I’ve got my gloves in the car.” Addie adds a one-two, hook-uppercut combo to shadow Stacey. That kickboxing class this summer really paid off in good form.
It’s all so ridiculous that I laugh through the sob in my throat, words loosening. “How about you land one on my temple so I don’t have to go to school Monday?”
“If your dad wouldn’t kill me, I’d take you out of your misery, yes.”
“You arethebest friend.” And she is. And I suck—again missing her games this week, because I’mthe worst.
“Correction, I am Olive Rodinsky’s best friend. And Olive Rodinsky is a damn good quarterback.”
That just makes the tears fall harder. “The whole point of football was to show what a team player I am, and I justbasicallyleftthe team. Kitt is never going to see past that. Never.”
Addie clutches my shoulders. “Then don’t make it an issue.” I blink at her, vision blurry. “She doesn’t know the whole story. Were your coaches there? Did you say the words ‘I quit’ to Coach Lee?”
“Well, no—”
“Then go to practice tomorrow. Finish the season. In a few weeks, she’ll be so impressed, you won’t even need to try out.”
“I can’t,” I say, voice shaking at a dangerous pitch.
“Yes, you can.”
“No—you weren’t there!” I hate my voice right now, every shaky syllable of it. All pitchy and raw. “Every single one of them knew about Grey and Stacey—how they dated for two years, how he totaled his car after she dumped him—all of it. Every single one of them knew how Grey was treating me. And every single one of them knew it was as fake as Stacey’s new nose.”
“So what! They’re idiots. They used you?Use them back.” She drives home the point with a playful jab, but her eyes are on fire. “Hold your head high and walk into practice tomorrow morning.”
“I can’t—”
“Yes, you can. You think this is hard? You think those boys are assholes? What if youdomake the softball team?” Tears roll down my cheeks. “What about playing on thesame team as Kelly? The team you beat at the state semis before whooping up on its star player? You think that’s going to be a freaking piece of Funfetti?”
“No, but I can’t—”
“Did you break your leg tonight?” She taps each of my shins with the toes of her Nikes, like she’s kicking the tires of a used car. “Nope? Okay, then walk into practice—”
“Weights. Saturday is weights.”
“Weights—whatever. Walk in and show those assholes who’s boss. They’ll be so terrified of you there will be an inch-deep stream of piddle on the floor.”
“But if I go back, then who am I?” My arms fling wide. “The girl who told them all to eff off because they were assholes and then came back for more? Isn’t that the definition of a toxic relationship? Not feeling like you have the power to leave and staying where you’re treated like garbage?”
