Entitlement drove her more than felt prudent to admit. Pride, too. The combination made her want to sink into the golden threads of this divan and never come out.
But with Luca, she could share the truth of it all without judgment.
“Because of that,” Amarande continued, “I would return my crown to Ferdinand in a heartbeat. He would do it if I asked him. It would disrupt Ardenia again but be worth it in the long run. And then I’d be free to join you in Torrence forever.” She glanced at their hands before sighing and again looking into Luca’s eyes. “The problem is that if I do that, they will question Ferdinand’s legitimacy as they did my own.”
Thinking, Luca shifted, fingertips grazing the map on the table—the one still baring creases from its travel across the Torrent with Taillefer before landing with her. The thick black ink her father used shimmered in the candlelight under the slight movement, giving life to the words and strategy he was ready to impart just days before his death. His final attempt to right the wrong he regretted most.
“You don’t think they’ll do that, do you?” Luca finally asked. “It seemed as if they want Ferdinand on the throne.”
The hope in his voice was pure Luca, but a heaviness trailed it that told Amarande that he’d truly learned much about the operations of the continental ruling families in the past few weeks.
“Of course, the Sand and Sky wants us to put him upon the throne. That way, when it is convenient to their aims, they can suddenly decree Ferdinand not to be legitimate. A bastard, with no living parents to even confirm it. My father was dead before Koldo breathed a word about his birth. And now she’s dead, too. Geneva was Koldo’s best witness, and we all know how unreliable she is.”
Amarande drew a thin breath. “And so, whether he takes the throne now or as my heir if I die before having children, the Sand and Sky will do to Ferdinand just as they’ve done to me—perhaps none of the men who became king in the past week sat through my coronation, but every man and woman who advised and approved their ascension did.”
The betrayal of that change of heart hurt especially—more than Amarande really wanted to admit.
In the candlelight, Luca’s eyes went somewhere far away—he knew that without the tattoo they would call him illegitimate, too. Amarande nodded to herself. “Perhaps not right away, perhaps years after I abdicate to be with you in Torrence, and we marry, theywillfigure out a way to rid Ardenia of its legitimate ruler.”
Amarande had made Ferdinand her successor—though the continent obviously wanted them to switch roles—but Luca had no natural blood remaining. She wouldn’t necessarily need an heir for Ardenia to remain in the family—if they didn’t betray Ferdinand—but Luca would.
Luca placed a hand on the swell of her knee through the skirts of her dress. “And they wouldn’t let you ascend to the throne then, not because you are a single woman but because you would be attached to me and our kingdoms would combine, the same as why they do not want it now.”
What was it that Inés had said when she’d cornered Amarande in the bath?
Yet you have the right blood, and your claim is still worthless without you attaching yourself to another like a parasite.
Once a parasite, always a parasite in these conditions, even when both blood and love were involved.
“Yes.”
The weight of a thousand years of patriarchal decrees and laws and proclamations crowded in with just that single word. Amarande had long mused that the continent was built of those things, the sand and mountains laid atop those rules as if it were some sort of terrarium under the never-ending sun and the sky holding all those who came before. And now Luca saw it, too.
The laws were meant to fortify the compact among the kingdoms, but all they really did was catch those who dared defy them under their crushing combined weight.
Luca straightened, clear-eyed, trying to see his way out of this maze. “So, our options are… what? To change their minds somehow? To convince them that more upheaval will only make things worse?”
Amarande’s shoulders quaked as a dark laugh bubbled from her lips. “Perhaps we should’ve run away together.”
Luca’s dimples flashed and he moved close enough to tip her chin up toward his with a knuckle. “To the port, to Indu, and beyond.”
That was the gist of what she had suggested after she’d rescued him from the pirates who would become their friends. They’d stopped for water, no pursuit close. She’d kissed him for the first time then. Not thinking, not asking, justdoingwhat she’d craved for years.
What she wanted to do now.
“Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?” She arched a brow at him. “Running away?”
Amarande wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him close. Luca smelled of fresh linens and clove oil as the night breeze through the open window of her chambers teased his curling hair away from his face.
She kissed him, and for just a moment, all the frustration and sadness and anger melted away and there was simply the two of them, the home they’d always known, safe and peaceful.
As they parted, though, it all came flooding back in.
Real and raw, and a threat.
Just like their vow to stay together.
It hit her hard enough that Amarande nearly wanted to cry out, but then she looked into Luca’s golden eyes—creased with a smile.
