“Thank you,” I breathe out, feeling Brooks kiss my temple.
“Anything for you,” Brody teases, then winks.
Wells motions with his head for Brody to move before he lowers down between us, lying over me and putting his head in Brooks’ lap.
The four of us are nestled on the bow of the sailboat, ready for the sun to set.
And it is. Spectacularly.
We made it just in time.
Light reflects off the water like tiny sparkling diamonds as pinks and purples bleed across the ocean like watercolors.
It’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. My face shifts as I take in the guys as they stare out.Well, maybe not the most beautiful.
The boat dips, slapping against the waves as we sail. Brody scoots closer to Wells, his palm caressing Wells’ hip before he runs it up and down his leg.
I’ve come to love watching these tender moments between them.
Nobody speaks. Maybe because there’s nothing to say…or maybe there’s too much. The words Brody whispered to me in bed revisit my heart, making it feel like it might stop all over again.
“Don’t leave…Stay here.”
I know he meant that for my eyeline. He meant for me to stay trained on him. But try telling that to the part of me that’s warring with the fact that, while I know I’m just a guest in this beautiful destination, right now on the bow of this boat, I can’t tell where one of us starts and the other ends.
And the worst part about that is the feeling that I just fit.
I know I’m being crazy. And I keep telling myself that this feeling of belonging is one-sided. I’m probably desperate to hold on to something that finally feels good after spending twenty years of my life constantly conforming.
But my brain might as well be reasoning with a professional gaslighter. Because that’s what my heart is doing—making me believe a delusion.
Wells wiggles his arm between my legs so he can hug my thigh as he snuggles even closer.
“Better,” he breathes out.
Brooks smiles, then glances at me, calling my lips to his. And I oblige.
We watch the sunset again, and I feel myself retreating, closing parts of myself off that I spent the week opening, until I suddenly feel a bit of panic. As if I just need to leave.
But because he’s too observant and I’m too expressive, Brody turns my face to his.
He says nothing, but neither of us breaks. We just hold there as the sailboat chases the sun, and I wish for it to never go down.
But it does. And Brody kisses me.
I can’t help but feel like it’s goodbye.
There are moments in life that define you. And some do more.
They soak into your skin, grafting onto your bones and changing the essence of who you are. Brody, Brooks, and Wells are that moment for me.
And I hope one day, when I think about this sunset and that kiss, I’m so happy the memory exists instead of feeling validated that nothing can ever live up to it.
chapter seventeen
. . .
If they wanted me, they can come and get me.
