Her heart began to race, but she wasn’t sure if the next thing out of his mouth was going to make or break all of her romantic dreams.
“This last month with you has been like something I never knew existed. For the last few years, you’ve been a friend, someone I enjoyed talking to and hanging out with. When Milo told me he wanted to bring you back to the resort, I was totally on board with it because it meant we’d get to hang out more. But once you were here, I knew I didn’t only want your friendship, but I was afraid to do anything to change our dynamic. I didn’t want to lose you.”
“You never would have. With the way our logistics are…”
With his free hand, he placed a finger over her lips. “I really need to say this.”
So she nodded.
“The night we played trivia and you jumped into my arms, I could no longer pretend that you were just a friend. I was so damn attracted to you and I was tired of pretending I wasn’t. But with my history, I was still afraid of messing things up between us.” Lowering his hand, he caressed her jaw. “You showed me that it’s possible to cross some lines and have it turn into something amazing. You are something amazing.”
Tears stung her eyes because this all sounded like it was leading up to everything she ever wanted. She wanted to join the conversation, but he wasn’t done yet, and she had to just bide her time.
“Tonight, when you said you wanted all the things that everyone in the room had, it scared the crap out of me. I keep thinking of us in terms of the here and now or in the near future. I think about going with you to Seattle.”
Her heart leaped for joy!
“But marriage and babies…well…that’s some heavy shit, and I don’t know if I can commit to that.”
And just like that, Evie felt herself deflate.
Hard.
“I’m not saying it’ll never happen, but…I don’t want to lead you on, especially knowing how you feel and what you want.”
“And this is why I keep things to myself,” she murmured, putting a little space between them.
“No,” he said. “Don’t do that. Don’t…” Pausing, he let out a growl of frustration. “I’m telling you, I’m really bad at this stuff because I’ve never done it before.” Another pause and another huff. “You mean everything to me, Evie. Even thinking about spending a day without you is something I don’t want to consider. I just…I’m asking you to be patient with me, that’s all. Just…know that I’m trying.”
He sounded so earnest, and she knew none of this was easy for him to say or to admit, so that counted for something, right?
“Say something,” he quietly prompted.
“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say,” she admitted. “It sounds like you’re willing to try us having something beyond what we’ve had here, but I don’t know what comes with that. Are you moving to Seattle? Coming for a visit? Are we going to do a long-distance thing like Milo and Nora tried? Do you want me to move here? Or are you going to go back to bouncing around the country working for different tour companies and you’ll fit me in when you have time? Am I supposed to quit my job and go with you? Like…I don’t know what trying looks like.”
Shaking his head, he laughed softly. “I know I said I hate when you shrink and don’t speak your mind, but those were so many questions.”
“Slater…”
“I know, I know. I’m just teasing. Sort of,” he added with a wink. “I don’t know what it’s going to look like. I wish I did. In my head, I’m following you to Seattle after you get back from your brother’s wedding. I…I need time to figure some stuff out and see what’s out there for me. I know I don’t particularly enjoy living in a big city, but maybe we can find a place just outside of it, a place that belongs to the both of us.”
The first twinges of hope were back.
“I’d like that. My apartment is near the office, but it’s never felt like home, so…the idea of finding something with you sounds wonderful.”
Now he visibly relaxed.
“Are you sure? Because…I should be coming to you and trying to fit into your world, not showing up and changing everything.”
Was he the sweetest or what?
“My world is pretty boring and could use a little shaking up,” she assured him. “And if we’re being totally honest, I am long overdue for something new and exciting.” Then she paused. “And I really like all the new and exciting things we’ve created here.” Her face heated at the admission, but she was so comfortable with him that she knew she could say things like that with no repercussions.
His smile was both sweet and sexy, and already had her tingling from head to toe. “I like all the new and exciting things we created too,” he said gruffly.
“But…?” Because she knew there was a but.
“But…I’m going to make mistakes and do dumb things because…because…” Pausing, he sat up a little straighter. “Remember that scene in Bambi when he’s learning to walk? He was awkward and kept falling down? Well…that’s what this feels like. My entire life has been spent with people kind of pushing me away—people who were supposed to love me—and after a while, I stopped trying to change their minds. I got really good at being alone. But now, instead of walking away, I’m walking toward what I want and…it feels like I don’t quite know how to navigate it all yet.”
