"Have you eaten today?" I try, seeing the weight of his desolation on his shoulders. He tells me he hasn't, while his shaky unbroken hand reaches up and pulls the white sheet off his shoulders, exposing his torso. Tears sting my eyes. A black outline works its way up his arm and over his chest. It's not finished, but I can see exactly what it is. It's an exact replica of Stellan's tattoos.
"He always used to say it'd be a tragedy if he died because his tattoos are too pretty to be buried," he whispers, and I nod my head, because I know. It's a legacy that Onyx will continue. My finger traces alongside the swirls of black smoke that creep around Onyx's forearm, encapsulating his bicep and working their way over his chest. I wipe the tear that drops down my cheek.
"It's perfect."
"Well, I have nothing better to do here."
"Do you want some books? They can help you learn to read."
"I suppose I'd better, now I'll probably spend my life sat down doing paperwork."
"You don't need to work, you can—“
"Leech off my filthy-rich, Queen of a sister—if she can fit me into her schedule?" He snaps, pale amber eyes burning into mine. That stung, and I feel my chest deflate with hurt, but I remind myself he's just hurting too.
"Onyx, please don't say things like that," I reply, calmly. He shakes his head.
"I need to sleep," he declares, shutting me out of his mind like he always does when he's struggling. "Come again tomorrow."
He wants me to come back tomorrow, and I cling onto that little shred of hope as if it's a life raft and I'm floating far out at sea, and get on with my day.
* * *
I spendthe morning with my hunters. We all take two hours off to eat a hot meal, all two hundred and fifty of us. We share our stories of Stellan and we cremate his body so that I can one day bury the ashes beside his wife and child. And I cry all over again, but I do it without regret or apology.
Next, I find Rexxan carrying a battered, broken boat up the riverbed, smashing it up into pieces and tossing it onto a bonfire. He should definitely not be that close to it. His jaw is set in a hard line, his gaze hot enough to fuel the fire in front of him. He spots me and the flames in his eyes only intensify as he drops the last splintered piece of wood and walks over. Gentle fingers push a strand of hair behind my ear as he towers over me and wraps a hand round my waist. He can't bear to not be touching me, and I love that.
"You look beautiful, Rennalya. How was he?"
I shrug because I'm too emotional about Onyx to talk about him much. "Fine."
Concern dances in those terracotta eyes and he pulls me through the chaos and into the tent that is his temporary home at the moment, filled with a few changes of clothes, a single bed, healing books, a desk, and a stack of paperwork.
"Are you sure you are alright?" He asks, his fingers stroking my hair with so much tenderness, in contradiction to the explosive power that is packed into every inch of him.
I nod. "I'll be fine. I just want Onyx to be fine too."
"He will be. Time heals all things, Rennalya."
"Alright, grandad," I mutter.
He laughs, a rare display of perfect white teeth. "I'm changing my mind about marrying you, you know."
"Your loss," I breathe, as he walks me back to the edge of his desk, his dark gaze fixed on mine, dropping down to my lips.
"You didn't sleep," I say, trying to formulate a sentence. The closer he is to me, the more my brain is scrambled.
"I know. I was going to sleep this morning, but I got dragged away to an emergency. I managed to wash though, so that was a small win."
I grin up at him, kneeling up on the desk so I can kiss him, hit by a sudden awe for this man who finds time for me when the weight of the world is on his shoulders.
* * *
Rex kisses me gently,his hands on my waist. We spent two hours clearing boats, and then I had a productive thirty minute cry in the tent. “Do you need to stay here and sleep?"
"Rexxan, I'm not broken. You don't need to treat me as if I am."
He wisely don’t mention that I just cried into a cup of tea for a while. “You've been through a lot this month."
