I shrug. Rennalya is not so different from the prisoners, she's just been privileged enough to make a living out of her violence, to be able to channel it into more productive places. She puts down her bowl, and I know her thought train is mirroring mine. "Holyfuck. That makes perfect sense, actually."
"Something to think about, anyway."
She crawls over the cool rock and kisses me. "Thank you for caring enough to suggest it."
"Always," I whisper, kissing her again.
We don't sleep inside. We sleep beneath a blanket on a hammock outside, and it's fucking perfect. We're warm, the outside is cold, and I feel... happy.I feel happy. I say the words over and over in my head, trying to get used to them. They don't feel right when I say them, but they are.
"Bloody hell, Rexxan, stop overthinking everything and sleep," mumbles Renna, half asleep as she stirs in my arms. I laugh, because she knows me so well now. I tuck her a little closer to my side, which I pretend is to keep her safe, but truly I think it’s to keep my own heart safe. Somehow, despite my whirring thoughts, I drift off.
Chapter44
Long Overdue (Rexxan)
The sun and the wildlife wake us early on our wedding day, and dawn kisses Renna's face through the trees. She's beautiful, and I cannot believe I marry her today. She opens her eyes and I smile. They still shock me, for some reason. I keep expecting her eyes to be the dull brown they once were, but they aren't. And it’s a reminder of her bravery in accepting who she really is.
"I get to marry you today!" She says, sitting up. She wiggles her eyebrows at me, feeling my obvious arousal. I've woken up with Renna on top of me; it's not my fault.
Even after all our escapades overnight—turns out fucking in a hammock isnoteasy—I still want her. She looks lovely when she has just woken up. I take her hand and start leading her up the stairs, but in true my-life fashion, we’re interrupted by a knock on the door on the one single day in fifty years that I’ve asked not to be disturbed.
"Two minutes," I say, turning and stomping down the stairs. "Two fucking minutes, I swear."
Half-naked, I stomp down the stairs and yank open the door. "I'm fucking busy."
“I need to talk to you—“
“I’m busy.”
Brilliant aqua eyes meet mine, unwavering. Lynna has never been one to back down from me. "You've mentioned.”
"This better be good," I snap, tossing my hair up into a messy bun. I want to be upstairs, inside the Shadow Commander. Six days. Six days off work. It's all I've fucking asked for.
"I was leading a healing course at the orphanage today—“
"Brilliant," I interrupt, and her eyes flash with annoyance at my tone. I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Sorry, carry on.”
"Poppy was back there. Returned late last night."
And just like that, my anger is lost in the sea of despair that floods my entire being. My heart plummets out of my chest and through the forest floor, crushed by the weight above it. Something inside me snaps, and I don’t really hear whatever Lynna is saying. I realise that Rennalya has appeared beside me. She's asking me if we can adopt Poppy, but my ears are ringing. She's been discarded again. For what, the sixth time now?
Before I know it, I'm pulling yesterday’s shirt over my head and I'm on my horse.
"What are you doing?" Asks Renna, mounting her horse beside me.
"I'm doing something I should've done a long time ago."
Chapter45
Two Become Three (Rexxan)
"Anpopeia," I say, outside her old wooden door, after the most exhausting six hours of rewriting a law and getting it past mine and Rennalya’s royal council to be sworn-in. This usually takes days, but I think the anger radiating from my every pore sped them up.
Between my determination and the Queen’s equanimity, we can now adopt our own child. It’s for her, and all that her parents stole from her. It’s for me, and my dreams for my future with Renna. And it’s for Poppy, and the love that the universe has never been kind enough to show her.
"Rexxan and I are here," explains Renna, her voice so gentle and calm.
"Go way!" She screams, from inside, and I hear the sound of a toy being thrown at the door. I sit down outside in the hallway as Renna does the same. Poppy is screaming in anger at us, but she's crying in there too.
