He's laughing at me. Fuck him. I try and remember what I want to say. "You make me so happy?" I suggest, trying to rescue my speech.Oh, no. I think I'm going to start crying again. "And I love you, and I've forgotten the rest, but I really do love you, and Poppy and I love lying in bed and reading a book with you. And you're the best father ever and...."
Rexxan's huge shoulders shake with laughter, pulling me down to sit beside him before I ramble on nervously. Oh, gods. I'm glad I didn't attempt my speech to Onyx. It would've been a disaster. "That was perfect, my love," he presses a kiss beneath my ear, then one on my lips. "I love you."
"I love you so much," I reply, and we’re grinning at each other like we're two complete idiots in love.
We are.
We eat dessert, which despite the grandeur and the chandeliers around us, is nothing more than a giant bowl of chocolate-drizzled strawberries plonked in the middle of the table with a load of forks. I fight Siddie and Anna for the last one, and it makes me miss Stellan even more because he would’ve joined that fight and he would’ve won it, too.
We sign the contract that legally binds us, and it lodges a lump in my throat because for the first time in my life, I have a surname. I have three names, in fact, now I've adopted the Forest tradition of adding your children's names onto your own.
Rennalya Anpopeia Hallenian, Commander of the Shadow Hunters, Guardian of the River Stone, Queen of the Green Woodland and of the Dark Forest.
Ilike how that sounds.
Rexxan signs his signature beside mine, his eyes locked on mine as he does it. “My wife," he mouths, the second his quill leaves the paper. "My wife." He repeats, loud enough for the others to hear. They erupt into cheering, and he takes my face between his hands and kisses me.
"Renna," he says, with a hand on my shoulder as I eat another strawberry. "When I met you in the forest, I don't think I could've ever imagined that we'd have been through what we have today. You're the strongest person I've ever met, and watching you grow in confidence and in experience over the last two years despite the adversity life has thrown at you has been a complete and utter privilege.
“I have had my fair share of lows, even if I am abysmal at talking about them, and when I was burned I remember telling Lynna that every day for the rest of my life would be an opportunity to finally die. But with you, my days have morphed into days I can be grateful to live.
"I cannot wait to share all of your joys, and to support you through your tears. I cannot wait to pick you up at our lows and to celebrate with you at our successes. I cannot wait to see our daughter, and any other children we may adopt, grow up in a loving home with loving parents. I cannot wait to watch her learn with such an inspiring role model for a mother. I cannot wait to watch your friendship with Siddie get progressively more ridiculous, and I cannot wait to get to know your brother and your best friend better."
He casts terracotta eyes to my brother and continues. "I couldn't be happier or more fortunate to be gaining you as a brother, Onyx, and I'm well aware of the fact that Rennalya would not be sat beside me today if you hadn't approved of me—that's how much she loves and values you." I'm crying, but Rex just smiles down at me, stomach-clenchingly handsome.
Rexxan has taken the pieces of my life that had been fragmented and scattered into some kind of impossible jigsaw, and he's meticulously and painstakingly put every single piece back in its place to create the most beautiful picture. He kisses me one last time amid a backdrop of whoops and cheers, and when I cast my eyes over Lynna’s shoulder, Onyx has made his slow and painful way to the door while we were all distracted by Rexxan's speech.
He salutes me and gives me a nod, and I'm fighting tears because this feels like more than just a simple goodbye. This is more. This is the end of an era, and it’s bittersweet. Like a crack in my heart has mended but a new one has formed beside it. He cocks his head towards Rexxan and gives me a thumbs up as if to say that I made a good choice, and then disappears through the door to go and look after my daughter.
I turn my attention back to my husband, who is busy avoiding questions about himself and instead gushing about me and everything that I do. I grin with my chin on his shoulder, basking in the love he gives me.
Chapter47
The Storm (Renna)
I'm sure the carriage driver didn't hear us.
Ihopethe carriage driver didn't hear us.
I'm trying so hard not to laugh as Rexxan steps out of the black carriage and the driver opens the other door for me. I dare glance up at him as he bows his head slightly. His face is bright red, eyes anywhere except me, and I know he heard Rexxan fuck my brains out in the back of the carriage to our cabin.
"That was...if you heard noises...uh...one of the flooring planks was loose."
What am I saying?Stop, Renna,stop.
But no one replies, so I carry on my panic-rambling. "The noise was...we...we had to bang the loose plank back into place?" I offer, and Rexxan's teeth sink into his lip. He's trying not to laugh at me. Then I’m aware of the fact that I’m miming hammering a plank back into place, so I immediately put a stop to that. Rex hands an obscenely huge tip to the driver and dismisses him.
He turns to face me. “Hammering a plank ba—“
“Shut the fuck up.”
The cabin is cold, the fireplace unlit. I would like a fire, but I'm not willing to trade Rexxan's mental welfare for it. "In my kingdom, Rennalya, it is tradition that every couple plants a tree on their wedding night. Either in their garden or in the forest."
My heart flutters. That's very romantic. "So your kingdom...your forest….”
"Is built upon thousands of centuries of partnerships. Some young saplings, some ancient oaks. My forest is built from the commitments it's people make to each other. And in time, the oldest trees will die and the youngest will become strong. Tonight we'll plant ours, and we'll watch it grow until the gods decide that our lives are complete.”
As is tradition, we kneel in the dirt barefoot, digging a hole with our hands. My dress is filthy, but I don't care. This is perfect. Our legs are knee-deep in dirt as we lift the silver birch sapling into the hole, filling it once more but saving the final handful of dirt for Poppy and Siddie to place tomorrow.
