"You hardly fucking know her!" I retaliate, before pinching my nose. I don't snap at Lynna. The day I raise my voice at Lynna will be the day I've lost my mind beyond all hope. She stands, her fingers hovering in front of my eye to feel the heat from my face. "You're in so much pain today."
I gaze down at her. She's so fucking beautiful that there are books about it. She’s unnaturally clever, raised for life in the public eye, trained in royal etiquette. She's funny and she's kind. Wise and empathetic. So why,fucking why, in seven hundred and fifty years of friendship could I never feel for her the same fire that I feel for Renna?
"She feels for you too," she breathes, reading my mind as aquamarine eyes search mine.
"It doesn't matter what either of us feel. She's a criminal. She's a liar.”
"She's a hunter. One that protects her people with a level of loyalty that I have only ever seen before in you. She's a sister who loves her brother more than anything. She's someone who, despite her childhood, hasn't lost the fun and wonder she had as a child. She is special."
"Why are you saying this?"
"Because I've never seen you like this with anyone. She is in your head, and you are in hers. Did you sleep with her?"
"Bloody hell, Lynna. Have youanyboundaries? Nosy woman," I mutter, ignoring her question.
“I’ve seen your sex dungeon, Rexxan, andyouwant to talk about our boundaries?” She shout-whispers, eyes flicking to the door.
“It’s not a fucking dungeon, for the four hundredth time. Yes, Lynna, I slept with her. It was a mistake. I'm not talking about this with you."
"Was it different? Did it feel unlike it has ever felt with anyone else?"
Yes. "No."
I turn and leave, my heart weighed down with an emotion I can’t even explain. Perhaps getting some revenge on Kelen will cheer me up, but somehow I doubt it.
I bonded with someone for the first time since I was a child, and it was all a fucking lie.
Chapter16
Community Service (Rexxan)
Standing before a large golden gate, with miles of wheat fields behind me, I reread the letter from Espan again, written in code.
Ruth,
Something has come up at the blacksmith. It's bad, and I have an idea of who lit the fire.
They're short on metal supply.
See you soon,
Goldie.
Translation—he has an idea of who was behind the first Vault break-in, and he thinks they're near him. I tuck it into my jacket and ride through the gates of Rinnia, the capital city of his Kingdom, after a two-month journey to get here. It has been seven months since he left the Forest Kingdom with the Shadow Commander in tow. I push the thought of her out of my head for the tenth time today.
Lynna rides behind me, with nine guards and one other healer joining us as we breeze through the well-kept streets and gold-gilded rooftops of Espan's capital. Excitable crowds line the roads to welcome us. I'm popular here, and Lynna too. I sign three notebooks, shake a couple of children’s hands, and leave my staff to greet the members of the public, more concerned with the potential impending doom of Yterras.
Espan stands atop the grand steps into his palace. It actuallylookslike a palace, unlike mine which looks more like a forest. A gold crown sits atop his blonde head and he nods at me as my horse halts in front of him. I like Espan, but I’m desperate to grip him by the shoulders and tell him to toughen up.
Espan pulls me into an unwilling hug, and I begrudgingly slap him on the back in return. "Something to tell you—“
"Is it about the Vault?" I interrupt.
"No."
"Then discuss it later. I only want to hear about the Vault now."
"Always straight onto business," he mutters gloomily, as I sling my bags onto my back.
