“Onyx was adopted, but not out of love. My mother used him to save me. What better way to ensure your child has someone to watch over them forever than to adopt a tall, broad, immortal child? It's all he's ever known. Then one day, my mother took the potion. It made her sick as usual, but she just…never woke up. With her gone, my father finally saw his chance to kill me, but Onyx killed him first.”
Rexxan runs his thumb over his short beard, deep in thought about everything I have said. Lynna's eyes are lined with unshed tears, like my own. My guilt over Onyx's existence crushes me daily. I never asked for him, but I have him nonetheless. I wish I could make him happier, to make him pursue his dream of settling in one city and being a guard, but I can't because my parents told him that he could never do that.
"I don’t want to talk anymore," I whisper, lying down once Lynna leaves. Everything hurts.
My eyes explore every inch of Rexxan’s face as he lies opposite me. Every curve of his sculpted lips. Every fleck of gold in the orange eyes that have been witness to so much horror. Every long, dark eyelash. The shape of the defined jawline that, usually tensed, is relaxed for once. I touch the tanned skin of his face, interrupted by a lightning-shaped scar that strikes over his eye. As his eyes close gently, like he might really trust me, my fingertips dance over the dark brown stubble that is longer than usual.
"Can we pretend that you never found out what I am? For now at least?"
He nods as we lie opposite each other on the bed that’s far too small for us both, my fingers running over his scars. Sunlight trickles in through the curtains, painting us in her golden light. She kisses our broken and battered bodies with her warmth as if to tell us that it’s all going to be alright in the end.
"What are you looking at, Renna?"
"You,” I whisper, smiling like a fool. “What'reyoulooking at, Rexxan?"
"You.”
Oh. Warmth spreads in my veins, restoring and mending as it goes. I know this is bad. I know I'm falling for him, but I’m not able to stay away either. I’ll take an unhappy ending with Rexxan over no Rexxan at all. "You never let me touch you," I say, my face a few inches from his.
A frown creases his face slightly as though it’s a surprise to him that I’d even want to. "Touch away, sweetheart," he replies, unbuttoning his shirt and sitting up to pull it off, his abs flexing. It’s a sight for sore eyes. "Be gentle on the burns."
I swallow. This feels like a huge privilege and I'm nervous. I run shaky fingers over his chest, feeling the heat of the scars beneath. I run them up and down his arms, so big that they belittle my hands. I skate them over his huge shoulders, over layers of muscle. I trail them down his abs, tracing the V of his abdomen. He's a work of art, sculpted by centuries of dedication and gruelling training. Only when he sucks in a sharp intake of air do I realise how aroused he is.
"Sorry."
"It's fine. I'm not sure there'll be a day where you don't have this effect on my body."
I’m blushing. Why the fuck am I blushing? "Did you think of me? When we were apart?"
"I fucked your underwear, Renna," he says, with a nonchalant expression that makes it impossible for me to know if he is serious. Could he have done that? Did he do that? Surely he didn't do that.Didhe do that?
I pinch the neckline of my dress and pull it a few times, trying to cool down. Why is it so fucking hot today? Rexxan needs to turn the sun off. I can't let that go. Did he do that? And why do I wish I could’ve watched? I clear my throat. "Uh...did you do that?!"
"You didn't think of me?"
Don't ignore the question, Rexxan!I feel my face warming even more. “Maybe a little.” Every night, without fail.
He grins. "To occupy even a slither of your mind is all a man can dream of, Renna."
My face blushes where it lies gently on his chest. "Ruthless—“
"Don't call me that."
“I thought you liked that nickname? You are ruthless.”
“Not to you. I don’t want to be ruthless to you.”
"Sorry," I say, clearing my throat, "Rexxan Obsidian Tsellyx Rellyn Hallenian, King of the Dark Forest and Green Woodland, Commander of the Five Kingdom Alliance, Guardian of the Fire Stone."
"That's better. You shouldonlybe calling me that in bed."
I laugh out loud. He's secretly quite funny when he wants to be. "Are there many others? That can change the weather as you can?"
"Just me. Three of us with bloodlines from the gods remain. Well, four, actually. Lynna’s father is alive too, but he ignores those powers—he does not care for flowers and animals like she does, only riches and power. I haven’t seen him in a long time. Ocealia can bend the tides of the sea. Lynna can grow vines and plants from nothing, revive dead flowers, and enchant them to live forever. That kind of thing.”
"Of course Lynna can do clever flower shit," I say, on a sigh. "Espan isn't one?"
"No."
