As the sky turns a warm shade of yellow, we lie on the chaise on my balcony, basking in the evening sun. Her head rests on the unburnt side of my chest as small fingers gently trace over the scars across my skin. If peace could be a place, it would be here, now.
We haven’t spoken for a while, both deep in thought. I didn't know sex could be like this. It's so much more than just physical with her. She lets me see her so vulnerable, hands over control to me in the trust that I’ll look after her. And I always will, even if I have to leave. I’ll always be here for her because I want her to be happy.
But above us, the sun sinks lower, just a soft orange glow over the golden rooftops of Espan’s city. It’s a reminder that another day has passed and this is soon to be over. "Ren," I say, tipping her chin up. Dull brown eyes meet mine, and I find myself wondering what they really look like. "I'm leaving in a few days."
"What? No, stay longer," she replies, sitting up.
I fight to keep my gaze above shoulder level.Fail. My eyes roam over full, tanned breasts, giving way to her toned waist. I shamelessly flip her over, wanting to see all of her. The sunshine paints her sculpted thighs gold, and I kiss the smattering of stretch marks that stand a little paler than her brown skin. She's been crafted by the gods just for me.
"I have to go back. I am the King of the largest Kingdom in Yterras at a time when the enemy is absolutely relentless; it's a busy time for me."
This makes her frown. "I know...I just...I guess I won't see you again? Or not for many years at least."
I don’t like that thought, and I don’t know what to do with the fact that I don’t like that thought. To be honest, I feel fucking miserable about it. In all my seven hundred adult years, I’ve never felt as willing to wake up and get through the day as I do when I’m with her.
But I am a King, and she a Commander. These are the sacrifices we must make.Sheis the sacrifice I must make. I could ask her to leave her position and come home with me, but I wouldn’t do that to her. Renna is a good leader, and she wouldn’t abandon her people for a man she likes.
Her, and I, we are blessed to know what our happiness is, but cursed to never have it.
* * *
Lynna,Ellia, Illyana, and Silvassa love it when I spend money on them. Renna? Not so pleased. I thought she'd be happy about the gifts I’ve bought her, but she's yelling at me, and I'm not really listening.
"...fucking hell, Rexxan! I was joking! This is like… more money than I've ever fucking owned! I'm not a gold digger! I feel like a gold digger! I don’t…,”huge sigh, “Rexxan. I don't need any of this! It was a joke!"
"It's a gift," I offer.
"I don't need a gift! I was joking!"
"Try it on, sweetheart," I say, and watch her self-combust for a while until she eventually strips naked in front of me.
Okay, today is looking up.
"Turn around! You can't see me in it!"
"We’re not getting fucking married, Renna."
"Turn around, you old bastard," she shrieks, and I huff, suppressing a laugh. I treat myself to a last look at her perfect body and swivel on the chair, straddling the back.
"Don't sit like that!"
"What now?"
"Don't sit like that! Don't sit backward on the chair. YouknowI can't resist you when you do that."
"Do I?" What is going on? "Renna, are you bleeding?”
"Yes!" She says, throwing a pillow at me. "And don't ask a lady that!"
I grin, my head in my hands. I like these moments with her. Not the group dinners in Espan’s palace, the hours we spend discussing military tactics in a library, or the evenings fighting in the training courtyards. It’s moments like when we’re getting dressed beside each other in comfortable silence that repair the cracks in my heart the most.
Renna is suspiciously quiet. The last time she was suspiciously quiet I found a snake in my pillowcase as a ‘really funny prank’. I blame her behaviour on the fact that she had no proper childhood. "Well?"
"Well...well, it’s beautiful, Rexxan," she whispers, behind me. "It's just….”
"What is it?"
"I've never received a…a gift before. Not unless I was sick. I'm not sure how to react."
