* * *
"Okay?"I mouth at Renna, as she comes into a meeting room at two in the morning. We’re in here preparing for the worst, and Renna has walked in looking a whole lot better than she did an hour ago, her eyes no longer red and puffy with tears. She looks sleepy, and it makes me want to look after her. I've never had that desire for anyone but my son before.
She nods at me and clears her throat. “You’re… you're going to all think I'm lying, but I swear it's true. I can't hide it any longer. I'm... I'm a...." She fiddles with her fingers. "I'm a s—“
"Sorceress,” adds Onyx. "She's a sorceress. We have no more potion to suppress it."
The room is silent, everyone looking on in utter disbelief. "What type?" Queries Talyn, eventually.
"There are types?" Asks Renna.
"Fire. She's a fire sorceress," I say, calmly. Renna looks up at me like she didn't know that, and like she has a hundred more questions for me.
How ironic that the woman who has captivated me so intensely can summon the very substance that ruined my entire life.
"This is good, right?" Asks Windan, one of my head guards. "She can save us?"
"And how would she do that?" I ask. Renna can’t save us all, but I can—if I can handle the pain. I know what I have to do to win this war, I just don’t want to do it.
"I don't know...put the whole army in a wall of fire?"
"Do your research, Windan. Sorceresses are not so different from Evergreens. She doesn't have that power, nor will she ever. It'll take years for her to train her abilities to full power."
"Ah."
"I've heard from Ocealia. She and Espan are about to face an army of equal size,” I say, beginning a long page of notes.
"How did this get past us? We've scouted the southern lands for months."
"They must be underground," suggests Renna, sitting down. Everyone is still staring at her in disbelief. "When will they get here?"
"They're not marching on my gates. They'll be marching on the Vault."
"That's a good thing, right?" Asks Annaliya. "It means less civilians dead?"
Frian shakes his head, his face grave. A small patch of similar scars to mine sits on his left hand. "The enemy breaking into the Vault is the worst possible scenario."
"Why?" Asks Anna.Gods above, what does Renna teach these people?
I sketch out a pentagon on the table in front of us all. "There is a small pool in that vault." I draw a circle towards each corner, continuing to explain.
“The gods themselves placed five stones on the pool and thus created Yterras as it is today. Each stone controls part of Yterras; fire and the sun, the rivers and the rain, the earth and the flora, the skies and the air, and the oceans and all that lies beneath them. I am the Guardian of the Fire Stone, Espan of the Air Stone, King Holn guards the Earth Stone, Ocealia the Sea Stone, and Kelen the River Stone. It is our responsibility to keep them safe. Guards from all of the Five Kingdoms patrol the vault."
"You entrusted one of the stones tothatidiot?" Says Renna, in disbelief.
"Not to him, but to the entire River Kingdom. It's been that way for seven centuries since the Great Fires. It may seem unwise but it is the only way we can live in world peace. Equal kingdoms, equal responsibility. You take the responsibility of a stone from a kingdom and they'll declare war,” I say, my eyes on hers.
She's all I want. I have to fix this. I have to tell her how I feel.Fuck, Rexxan. Not now.
I continue. "Annaliya, the stones all sit atop the water in that pool; none higher or more important than the other. There are natural ripples in the pool which are normal, they cause the elements to fluctuate, that's why it's hotter on some days, or rainier on others, or why the tides go in and out. Seven centuries ago someone took the Fire Stone out of the Vault and for two days, a volcano in the north sent fire raining down from the skies. Houses melted, crops burned. Over half the population died."
Annaliya swallows. "What if they take the others?"
"Each stone brings its own disasters. The Earth Stone would cripple Yterras with earthquakes. Whatever stone is taken, we'd see tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands dead. We have four tasks on hand," I explain, ticking them off on my fingers. "Protect the vault, tackle the army, guide and support our people, and heal the wounded. That's why we're all here."
Everyone nods, sitting up a little taller. As the hours go by, I watch Renna closely. She winces every now and then, her forehead glistening slightly with sweat. I know she must have the mother of all headaches, mostly due to withdrawals from the potion her body has known for so long. Her shaking hands are the first to rip open the door the second we’re finished.
I want to go to her to help her through it, but I am faced with a genuine queue of people waiting to speak to me about urgent matters. And if that isn’t an allegory for our relationship, I don’t know what is. Renna isn’t a woman who deserves scraps of my time. She deserves it all, and I can’t give her that. But fuck, I just cannot let her go.
