"Renna, what's gotten into you? This isn't like you," he says, gently. He sounds like he is in agony.
"I'm in love with you!" I say, into his chest. “You don't need to say it back, and I'm not asking you to either. But I'm strong enough to admit that I'm in love with you and I hate seeing you like this. What are they doing to you in here? Why have they done this?" I tug at the straps.
"Hey," he says, pulling away. "Renna, they're just helping me. You got yourself a little spooked with the straps, I think. It's just easier to heal someone who isn't thrashing around in pain. I thought you liked me tied up?"
I laugh through my tears. "I do! But only when we’re naked!" I don't understand why I'm so upset either. I came in here to comfort him and it has so quickly gone the other way.
It's because I love him. It's because the thought of him lying on a cold table in agony every single fortnight for seven hundred years fills me with a sadness unlike any I've ever felt. He brushes away my tears, kissing me gently. "I'm sorry! This is supposed to be about you!" I cry, through my sobs. Fucking hell. I don't know what I'm doing. I never break down like this.
"Renna, oh my word. Deep breaths, what has happened? Has someone hurt you? Do I need to kill someone for you?"
"I don't know! I just thought you'd died or something!"
He smiles down at me, his thumb gently stroking my shoulder. "So you really do love me, huh?"
"Yes!" I shake his shoulders. "And you don't believe me because clearly someone told you that you're not worthy of it but you are!"
"Renna," he says, as if he can’t listen to me any longer. He lies back down as I sit on his legs. His eyes squeeze shut in sheer agony. Driven by some kind of intuition, I hover my fingers over his chest, feeling them heat up. Then, like the reverse of what he’d shown me, I draw the heat back towards my chest and my fingertips go cool again. The scorching heat from his chest warms them once more and he snaps his eyes open, jolting upright.
I jolt in surprise. "Did I hurt you? I'm sorry!"
"Rennalya, do that again," he whispers, his face paling a little.
"I don't know what it was, I was just exploring."
"Then fucking explore again!" He shouts, making me jump. He pinches his nose as if exasperated with himself. “Fuck. Sorry.”
I repeat the move and he shuts his eyes, his breathing slowing. "It feels nice?"
"It feels...it feels like you're cooling them down more than Talyn or Lynna can after seven hundred years of science."
I watch the muscles in his chest relax over the next ten minutes, the contours and boundaries of his magnificent body blurring through my tears. I think they're tears of joy. He sits up, brushing my hair out of my face. "Where the fuck have you been?" he whispers, looking at me in wonder. "My fucking soulmate. My fucking panacea."
I half chuckle, half sob. “Panacea? Isn't that a dessert?”
He laughs at me like I am an idiot, and it is carefree and painless. "You're my cure to everything."
"I love you," I whisper, as he holds me closer. "I want to talk about a spring and summer contract with you."
"I'd like to talk about that too," he replies, before kissing me so hard that I forget whatever it was I was going to say.
Chapter30
The Night before a hangover (Rexxan)
My assistant wants my balls on an iron spike.
Renna and I were caught sharing a kiss in the training ground yesterday. I had a blip in my judgement and now we have a crowd of several hundred following us on our walk back to the palace this evening.
"Any comment on the kiss in the training courtyard?" Persists a woman who has been following us all morning, probably a writer in the gossip papers. It doesn't bother me, but I don't want it to affect Renna. My marital status makes the news every day, and this is the first time I've been seen with anyone in public for many years. The kingdom is buzzing with unnecessary excitement.
"Only that it wasreallygood!" Shouts Renna, back at her. The crowd laughs, seemingly unfazed by our shocking breach of royal protocol.
"For fuck’s sake," I sigh. "I have something I need to do, then I'll take an hour off to have lunch with you."
"Okay!"
She’d be enthusiastic about shovelling horse shit if I said I’d do it with her. It’s sweet. "I'm talking to Ocealia. You're welcome to join me."
