I’ll be home first thing, as long as Mom looks okay. Cannot wait.
The shower is everything I needed. It washes away the stress, the flight, the panic from the lecture hall. When I step out in the fluffy towel and spot that Ingrid has left a warm muffin and a cup of tea on the side table, I think I might just curl up here and never leave.
I sit on the edge of the bed, peeling back the brown paper and taking a bite.
Jesus Christ, it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I flop back onto the white duvet, moaning around the food in my mouth.
The painting is on the ceiling above Alex’s bed.Mypainting. The mess of fingers and handprints I made while he fucked me in London.
Ophelia
Nice view from the bed
Alex
Something’s got to make the lonely nights less lonely
Now my brain is full of all sorts of visions of Alex in this bed, so I bury myself under the duvet and let my imagination run wild.
A KNOCK ATthe door startles me. The curtains are good enough that I have no idea what time it is, but my phone tells me it’s just past five. I croak out a hello, voice hoarse.
“Hey, girl!”
I’ve never met Mia, but I’d know her voice anywhere from the endless FaceTime calls I’ve spoken to her on.
“You’re home! Come in,” I say, combing my fingers through my hair.
The door opens, and a flurry of long limbs and dark hair launches toward me like a flying squirrel. She lands on the bed with a thud, grinning ear to ear. “Oh my god, it’s so cool that you’re here.”
“I can’t believe I survived the flight.”
“I know, right? Usually a very unreliable form of transport,” she says teasingly.
“Oh, so Alex’s attitude runs in the family?”
She laughs, flopping back beside me. “He’s the worst of us all.”
“How was school?”
She wiggles her feet, clad in white sports socks. “Fine. I had track practice.”
“Does Evie like sports, too?”
She smiles at the mention of her twin sister. “Not really. She likes dancing. Actually, she likes figure skating. She’s excited to meet you, too.”
“I’m kind of nervous.” I’m more than nervous. Meeting a load of miserable businessmen and CEOs? I’d be fine. Meeting teenage girls? Terrifying.
“Don’t be. We can just eat popcorn and watch a movie together. Did you see my mom? Did she seem … well, obviously she’s not fine, but did she seem okay?”
Concern creases her eyes and my heart squeezes. “It’s hard for me to say. I don’t know what she’s normally like. But we had a good chat. She seemed cheerful, considering.”
Mia stares at her feet, chewing her bottom lip. While Evie, Josie, and Charlotte have the blond hair and fair complexion of their father, Mia is all green eyes and dark hair, her skin a little sun-kissed. Although, anyone looks sun-kissed next to me. “Our mom is the best.”
“She is.”
“It’s not fair that she’s sick and my father isn’t.”
I nod, fiddling with the purple friendship bracelet on my wrist. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how Alex does this: answer questions from the six of them, all at different stages of childhood, all at different stages of understanding what death really means.
