I laugh softly. “I feel quite … positive.”
He frowns, looking so genuinely alarmed as he checks thetemperature of my forehead that my laughter gets loud enough to wake Josie.
Alex prods his sister and cocks his head toward me. “Ophelia’s in a good mood, Jo.”
She frowns, spinning to face me. “Weird.” Two small arms wrap around me, clad in bright blue Spider-Man pajamas. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I know. I’m so sorry. But Alex has been very kind and paid for a clever doctor to help me talk about my fear of flying.”
“So you can visit?”
“Exactly.”
She squishes her face into me.Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
Ilovehaving a big family.
Alex stands, tugging a T-shirt over his head. He points at Josie. “Jelly and butter?”
She whoops with joy at the knowledge that our toast-in- bed party is making its appearance for the fourth consecutive morning.
I watch Alex head out into the hallway, my eyes lingering on the way his muscular shoulders taper down to a narrow waist, on the way his thighs fit into those gray sweatpants.
I do love Josie as my own personal hot-water bottle in bed, but I need to catch him alone today. Maybe in the shower.
The door creeps open, and then Charlotte is beside us. “Are youreallyleaving today?”
“I have to go. But I’ll be back.”
“Pinky swear?”
“Pinky swear.”
“Double pinky swear?” comes a voice from the hallway. Elise leans against the doorframe, a fragile smile on her face. “I’m going to miss you sorely, Ophelia.”
“I’ll miss you more,” I reply, struck by just how true that is. I’ve been here forweeks. I haven’t stayed anywhere other than Sorrowsong or the house near Inverness for this long in my life.
The mornings are hectic here, the evenings packed full of dance recitals, tennis games, movie nights, arguments, tears, family dinners, and exasperating bedtime routines. In a month, Sorrowsong will close for the summer, and I’ll head back to my parents’ house. And though I’ve enjoyed my time here, I just know it’s going to make the silence bite harder.
But I’ll tread water, just like I tell Alex to do, because this distance is temporary. We’ll get our time, and it’ll be even sweeter when it comes.
I pat the space on the other side of Josie and Charlotte, inviting Elise to sit. Her whole face brightens, and my hand steadies her as she lowers herself onto the mattress. Other than one particularly bad day earlier this week, her moods have been more stable. The highs aren’t so high, the lows aren’t so low. But years of eating disorders, drug use, surgeries, stress, and health trials are catching up with her.
She looks so fragile.
Her hand slips into mine. “If you’re in that house alone, call us every night. We’ll put the phone at the dinner table if we have to.”
“I’ll try to visit you guys before the end of the year.”
She winks at me like she knows something I don’t. “We’ll see.”
Charlotte sits up, her hair sticking up at every possible angle. “Maybe we can visit Ophelia, too!”
Elise drops a kiss to her forehead. “Maybe we can,mon chou.”
“Is Dad coming back?” Josie asks, for the four hundredth time this week.
“No, my love.”
