What was I doing?
Alex
I’d better not say.
My teeth sink into my bottom lip. Horny and sad has become the baseline for my moods of late. And Alex’s, too, I imagine. I flop back onto the bed and shut my phone off before I can say something equally romantic back.
Alex
Don’t go all quiet on me. If I’ve done something, let’s talk about it.
The sob I let out is watery and embarrassing. I’ve never given my appearance a second thought, never cared about my eyes, my nose, my hips, my lower stomach. Not until the last few weeks, where I stand in front of the mirror and pick myself apart in a way I wouldn’t dare to do to anyone else. “They say I’m bland and boring … I can’t believe how I look in that photo.”
“People say you’re bland because they don’t know the first thing about you.” She’s scrolling on her phone, pizza crust dangling from her pink lips when her face lights up. “Oh mygod.”
“What?”
“You should do this! It’s in two days. It’d be perfect for your confidence!” She claps her hands, looking ten times more alive than she did a minute ago. She leaps out of bed like Charlie Bucket’s grandfather, passing me the phone. I’m so drunk, the Instagram story looks like spaghetti to me.
I blink twice, slowly letting the letters shift back into a line.
Last minute life model needed due to cancellation. Paid opportunity.
“Absolutelynot.”
“My friend Jas did it, she said it literallytransformedher confidence.”
“I am not standing naked in front of a load of people. I have no idea if my nipples are normal. What if I have weird nipples, andthisis how I find out?”
She crosses her arms, eyes dropping to my tank top. “Show me them.”
“No!”
“You would be so good. You have that Aphrodite figure.” Her eyes are so wide they might pop out of her head, nodding like a dashboard figurine. “I’ll go with you!”
Six cocktails have me thinking maybe it’s not the absolute worst idea. Maybe itwillbe empowering. Maybe my nipplesarenormal. Maybe they’re particularly good ones.
This is the kind of thing every woman should do once in their life, I tell myself. Be a muse. So what if your nipples aren’t normal, normal nipples are probably boring to draw.Let the good people of London draw your weird nipples!
“Itheallyrelped … no …reallyhelped … your friend?”
“Yeah!” she says, enthusiastically.
I blurt out a giggle of disbelief. “Okay,fine.”
She cheers, dancing round the room like she’s won the lottery. “I’ll come with you! I’ll cheer you on from the back. Maybe I’ll meet a really hot artist!”
“And you can both live in the Loire Valley and run a painters’ retreat!”
“And have cute babies,” she adds, stumbling over.
I take a giant bite of the pizza. It’sincredible.
This is a horrific idea.
Chapter 11
ALEX
