‘Where has the lovely Amelia got to?’
‘She was feeling unwell and retired for the evening.’
Bennett felt his spirits plummet at this unfortunate piece of news. She was avoiding him again. Now he would have to wait until the morning to speak to her, although heaven knew what he would say. Why had she kissed him? It was hard to remain indifferent to a woman who kissed with so much passion and made his heart ache when she avoided him. Was she as miserable and confused by her feelings as he was? Should they talk about what had happened or should he pretend that it hadn’t happened at all? And why had his father never given him any instruction on how to deal with these powerful, insistent emotions when he had so much to say about everything else?
‘I might turn in for the night myself. It has been a busy week and I am very tired.’ And miserable and so blasted aroused every time he thought about that kiss that he feared his breeches might split. Or burst into flames.
Out in the hallway, he collided with Lovett. He should tear the man off a strip but did not have the energy. The best he could muster was a polite inclination of his head as he trudged towards the staircase.
‘If I might be so bold as to offer an observation, Your Grace? But you appear a little out of sorts.’
Out of sorts? That was a very delicate way of saying it. ‘I am just tired, Lovett. I am off to bed.’
‘That appears to be a common affliction this evening, Your Grace. Miss Mansfield claimed much the same, but she has decided to take some air on the battlements before retiring for the evening.’
* * *
Amelia made a sacred vow never to drink port again. Whilst she had always had a tendency to be a bit impulsive, this afternoon she had surpassed herself. She had kissed him. Kissed.Him!And that had made everything excruciatingly awkward. Who knew what the man must be thinking? She had survived the interminable dinner and had escaped, pleading a headache, the moment the men had left to drink the same dreadful port that had caused her current predicament.
Instead of retiring to her room, she had found her way up to the battlements to breathe in the crisp winter air and unscramble her wits. Fortunately, if she could avoid him tomorrow, she would not have to see him for another week. By then, with any luck, she would have thought up a viable excuse for attaching her mouth to his quite so fervently and worked out why she had gone and done it in the first place. And what a kiss it had been! Her lips still tingled at the thought of it, but at least the other parts of her had stopped tingling. A few more seconds of that glorious onslaught and she might well have tugged him into the nearest bush and begged him to have his way with her.
Amelia stared up at the clear night sky and sighed. She really had made a dreadful mess of things and hiding up here wasn’t helping. If she had not been feeling quite so cowardly, she would go back downstairs and apologise. She could blame the port, but she would be lying and it would get Lovett into trouble when it really wasn’t his fault at all, or she could simply tell the Duke the truth.I find you ridiculously attractive, I have developed a silly girlish crush on you and, even though I know that there could never be anything more between us other than passion, I couldn’t help myself.Given those two choices, these cold battlements were more appealing.
She sensed him before he spoke. ‘So this is where you are hiding.’
His deep voice was a little breathless, almost as if he had been running, and when she turned towards him she saw him staring upwards while his hands were clasped, customarily, behind his back. Her heart clenched at the sight, but she had no idea what to say. Fortunately, he filled the gap.
‘It upsets me to think that you are avoiding me.’
‘Avoidance, under the circumstances, was the only thing that I could think of toavoiddying of embarrassment. I am sorry about earlier. I am not sure what came over me.’ A lie.
‘I really didn’t mind, you know. If you should feel the sudden urge to kiss me again, I will not make any attempt to stop you.’ He was flirting now, a little awkwardly, which she found utterly charming. Once again, her silly heart lurched even though she had intended to harden it.
‘Kissing you is dangerous. It makes me forget all reason.’
A completely male, totally arrogant smirk crept over his face. ‘That is excellent news.’ He began to prowl towards her, his intentions clear in his expression. Knowing that she would not have the wherewithal to stop him if he started to kiss her again, Amelia held up her hand before he got too close. ‘But kissing you was a mistake and one I am not in a hurry to repeat. I think it is probably best avoided, going forward.’
‘I see.’ He sounded disappointed. And a little churlish. ‘Why?’
‘There are so many reasons that I do not quite know where to start. But the most important one is you are a duke and I am a servant and we both know that there can be nothing between us.’
‘I hardly call what we havenothing. We have a mutual attraction for one another; we get on very well.’
If only that was all that mattered. ‘You want to be Prime Minister one day.’
‘That has nothing to do with this.’
‘Of course it does! You have spent the past year looking for the perfect woman to be a Prime Minister’s wife and, whilst I take a great deal of issue with your silly book, I do understand that a high-ranking politician must have a wife who is beyond reproach.’
‘We could still be together. Somehow.’ The ‘somehow’ highlighted the huge gulf between them.
‘Are you suggesting clandestine meetings? Am I to be your dirty little secret? The skeleton in your cupboard?’ She tried not to sound waspish and insulted, even though she was. It was better for them to face the harsh reality of any future relationship between them now, honestly, rather than pretend that they stood any chance.
‘When you put it like that, it makes me feel awful.’ He sat down on the bench next to her and stared into the darkness for several moments while the air around them hung heavy with things that neither knew quite how to say. Eventually, he took her hand and warmed it between his palms. ‘I need to know if you feel it too, or if this overwhelming attraction that I feel is completely one-sided.’
‘I feel it too.’ Lying was pointless when she had already admitted to the deadly effect of his kisses. ‘But I wish with all of my heart that I didn’t.’
‘Am I so terrible?’
