It was a decision she had made very early in the evening immediately after his confession because it was obvious he was vulnerable and needed looking after. By her. Clarissa had straightened Seb’s lapels, neatened his hair again because she couldn’t seem to stop touching him, then threaded her arm through his proprietorially. When they emerged back into the drawing room, it was Lord Millcroft and his adoringIncomparablethat everyone saw.
She stood by his side while he was introduced to Thetford and, while they both inwardly held their breath, they were soon relieved to see not one flicker of recognition in the older half-sibling’s eyes. Overall, it had been a brief exchange but the knowledge that Thetford was blessedly ignorant of her spy’s real identity seemed to alleviate some of Seb’s tension and allowed him to focus during the long dinner to such an extent that before the gentlemen left for their port and cigars, he managed to engage in some small talk with his nemesis.
Clarissa, on the other hand, fretted the entire time he was gone, but she needn’t have worried. A surreptitious peek into the billiards room on her way to bed reassured her he was all Millcroft and she felt an inordinate sense of pride in him. There were not many men who could behave with such restraint and grace when under intense pressure. In the presence of two dukes, he stood tall and proud. Just the right amount of arrogance and confidence to convince anyone he was as good, if not better, than the rest of the men assembled. No wonder he excelled at what he did. But he still needed looking after. Especially tonight. Coming face to face with his past had rattled him and only she knew Seb was wearing a carefully constructed mask.
The tap on the door made her breath hitch. ‘Who is it?’ Her maid would have a fit if she saw her dressed like this. Especially after Agnes had taken half an hour to bind her hair in the rags. Rags which now sat listlessly on her dressing table next to the Mrs Radcliffe novel she had been attempting to read for four months.
‘Me.’ The deep whisper made those goosebumps appear all over her skin again. The sight of him dressed head to foot in black gave those goosebumps goosebumps. The colour suited him, making him seem more dangerous and sinfully exciting than usual. He closed the door and gaped at her attire.
‘What are you wearing?’
To lighten the suddenly tense mood, Clarissa did a little twirl. ‘My new spying clothes. Do you like them? I could hardly climb out of the window in layers of petticoats, now could I?’
‘You are not going out of the window.’ He dropped the heavy rope on the floor and began to secure it to some furniture as if his word was law.
‘Yes, I am. You need me.’
‘I need you in here, not out there where it is dangerous.’ His ferocious scowl could have curdled milk.
‘In case it has escaped your notice, it is probably just as dangerous in here as it is out there. What happens if they become suspicious or wonder why you are missing? They will come and find me.’
‘Take off those ridiculous clothes and go to bed.’
‘If you think I am going to spend the night worrying about you while meekly waiting here after tonight’s revelations, then you can think again. Need I remind you that I have saved your mission at least twice that I know of and without me you would still be floundering in a ballroom in Mayfair rather than here in Penhurst’s house. You said I am resourceful and have excellent instincts, two things that would come in useful if the unthinkable happens.Youhave had a trying day. Trying days play on the mind and make us miss things. Extra eyes will ensure that doesn’t happen. Besides, if you refuse to take me with you, we both know I shall only climb down once you have gone. And then I will be all alone. Wandering the Downs in the dark. Looking for you. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing I was with you in the first place?’
She watched his eyes narrow while he thought of a response and decided to deny him the chance. Decisively, Clarissa marched to the window and began to lower the rope outside. His big palms came down and imprisoned her hands. ‘I’d feel better knowing that you were safe and sound in here.’
‘And what about how I feel? Or does that not matter?’
His mouth opened and she silenced him with her hand. ‘I am supremely tired of trying to do what other people want. I’m tired of all the effort it takes to be anIncomparable. I’m tired of feigning politeness to the limpet Olivia or Penhurst and his cronies. I’m tired of all of Westbridge’s dithering, I’m tired of competing for his affections or being treated like an ornament and I am fed up with taking orders from you.’
He seemed offended to be included in that list. ‘I don’t give you orders.’
‘Yes, you do. In the last few days alone you’ve ordered me to remain silent, keep secrets and you’ve threatened to put a guard on me if I disobey. Just then you ordered me to go to bed. Well, understand this—I’m not going to nor am I going to spend more fruitless hours worrying about you in here when I know I can be an asset to you outside.’ She snatched her hands from under his and sat on the window sill, feeling righteously indignant. ‘You either take me with you or Iwillfollow later.’
‘I bet you’ve never even climbed a rope.’
She was winning if that was the best argument he could think of. ‘I haven’t, but you have. If push comes to shove, then I’m sure you can throw me over those impressive shoulders.’
