I groan. “Are you seriously going to make me get off the couch?”
“Hey, you’re the one who’s asking for help here.”
“Actually, I didn’t ask for help. I’ve long ago accepted that my life is cursed and I’m destined to die alone.” I give Lex a wink to let her know I’m only half joking, then leave momentarily to track down something for her to write with. All I have is an old notepad from some plumbing company that was left in a drawer from a previous tenant. I hand it over to her, along with a pen I’d accidentally stolen from the local pub’s trivia night, and settle back into my spot.
Lex jots a few things down. Her handwriting is almost as indecipherable as a doctor’s. Maybe she learned that scrawling script from her brother’s time in med school. “So,” she begins, pen poised, sharp blue eyes refocusing on me. “How long has this ‘awkward thing’ been going on?”
“Since I lost my virginity,” I state plainly.
Her brows shoot up. “Really? And when was that?”
I avoid her gaze, focusing on Winston instead. Why do I suddenly feel like I’m in a therapy session? And why don’t more therapists have comfort animals? “High school. Senior year.”
“Wow.” She sets her pen down for a moment, but I avoid her piercing stare. “You’ve literally never had a normal sexual experience?”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
“Damn. I’m sorry.”
The silence stretches on, save for Winston’s snoring and Ben Stiller rambling about milking cats.
“Do you... want to talk about it?” Lex ventures.
I shake my head. “I’d rather not relive it.”
Lex nods, understanding. I look up, but I can’t stand the sadlook on her face, those big pitying eyes. Time to change the subject. I nudge her with my foot and force a smile. “Don’t worry, I have lots of other stories to regale you with. And I promise I’ll tell you that story one day. I just don’t want to get into it tonight.”
Though, I hope she’ll forget about it. Remembering that terrible night and the domino effect it’s had on my life, how it destroyed all my friendships and pushed everyone I cared about away, forcing me to start over all alone without a friend in the world, is the last thing I want to do. Besides, Lex just became my friend—myonlyfriend since moving here. Our relationship is as fresh and shaky as a newborn calf stumbling around on long, spindly legs. If she knew the true depths of my curse and how it came to be, our friendship may not survive it.
No. That story can wait. Preferably forever.
“Okay, so it started with your virginity,” Lex reiterates, writing it down. “And it’s been every relationship since?”
“Yep.”
“And have you noticed any trends? Like, for example, the sexier a guy is the more awkward the date is?”
I think a long moment. “Honestly I never thought about it before.”
Lex taps her pen against her bottom lip, then jots down a note. “And you mentioned you don’t get a lot of second dates. So have you never been in love?”
That’s an easy question. “Nope.”
She stares at me, as if she can’t quite grasp my reality. “But you’re what, around my age, right?”
“Twenty-eight,” I confirm.
“I’m thirty-two,” she says, more to herself than to me.
I run the tip of my finger along my near-empty wineglass. “My awkwardness just pushes everyone away.”
“I’m sorry,” she says.
“How about you?” I ask, desperate to shift her focus. “I mean, aside from your ex-husband, who I’m sure you used to love.”
Lex contemplates my question for a moment. “I still love him, in my own way. Not a romantic love anymore, of course, but he’s still the father of my child, and he’s a wonderful father.”
“I’m happy to hear that.” Sounds like they’ve had an amicable separation if she harbours no ill will.
