“Okay,” Lex says with a nod. “Onto rules.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Rules?”
“Yes. Well, not rules plural—there’s mainly one rule everything can be consolidated into.”
“Which is?”
“Don’t put yourself in danger.”
I lean back in my chair and nod, ready to be scolded, again.
“Stay where I can see you. Don’t go home with anyone. Don’t get into anyone’s car. Don’t drink too much. If you get a bad vibe, get the fuck out, don’t be polite. Don’t worry about hurting his feelings.” Lex taps her chopsticks on the table for emphasis with each point.
“Yes, Mom.” I smile through an exaggerated eye roll.
“And I’ll be there the whole time, so if you need assistance extricating yourself from a bad situation just let me know.”
“Let you know, like, with a secret hand signal?” I lean forward, stroking my chin. “How about a bird call? Should I scream my safe word? It’s ‘porcupine,’ by the way.”
It’s Lex’s turn to roll her eyes, though she can’t quite stop her dimples from emerging. Thinking I won this round, I lift my club soda to my lips.
“Or,” Lex adds, “you could do Morse code SOS via tit flashing.”
Soda sprays out my nose as I laugh. I grab some napkins to wipe the soda and spittle from Lex’s shirt, then our table, and the dribble down my chin as we both giggle.Did she seriously just say that?
“Tit flashing Morse code. That’s a good one,” I say, catching my breath. Lex seems so serious, I’m shocked her sense of humour goes to such strange places.
“Next thing to do is download a dating app,” Lex says, opening her phone once we’re all cleaned up. “Since I’ll be booking your dates, are you okay with me having the app on my phone?”
“Sure.” Better she have it so I’m not obsessing over it constantly. “But what if they want to chat and I’m not there?”
“To reduce variance, we’ll keep chatting to a minimum. I’ll just message them and say something like, ‘I prefer getting to know people in person. Can we meet up?’”
“Genius.”
Lex slides closer, then points at her phone. “I’ve heard good things about this one.”
I shrug. “Whichever one you like. It won’t make a difference.” The curse will not be limited by any manmade technology.
“Now for your profile. First things first—” Lex raises her phone and snaps a picture.
“Hey! I wasn’t ready!” I swipe at the phone, but she holds it away.
“You look great.”
“This could be my future husband’s first impression of me, I need to workshop this picture and maybe call in a professional,” I say, only half joking.
Lex rolls her eyes, but relents, passing it over. I look down at the phone and do a double take. There, on the screen, is possibly one of the best photos of me I’ve ever seen. The light glimmers on my hair, my smile is relaxed and natural, and the way I’m looking just off camera, at Lex... it makes my chest ache.
“That’s a pretty fucking good picture,” I admit.
“See?” Lex smiles, her dimples making a rare appearance. “You’re beautiful.”
Warmth floods my cheeks at Lex’s complete sincerity. One compliment from her feels like a thousand from anyone else. Now I just have to find someone who can back compliments like Lex’s with real romance. And who knows? Maybe we’ll have this curse figured out in no time.
chapter nine
Karma for Not Believing in the Curse
