I avoid her gaze, picking at a pill on my blanket. “No, everything’s fine.”
“But...?” Lex knows me far too well.
“It’s just...” I sigh. “Olsen is handsome and smart and charming and everything I want, but I’m not feeling... sparks? Butterflies? Like maybe we’re movingtooslow? We haven’t even kissed yet.”
“Have the dates been awkward?”
“A little,” I concede. “At lunch the server flirted with Olsen right in front of me even though we were clearly together, but it was definitely not the most awkward date I’ve had. It felt like we were platonic friends out having lunch rather than two people trying to get in each other’s pants. He didn’t even make a pass at me, Lex! What if he’s not interested?”
“You’re stunningly gorgeous and smart and interesting and funny. Why wouldn’t he be interested?”
I nod along, her compliments making me feel a bit better.
Lex continues. “Judging by the way he talks about you, he wants to take things further—I mean, he literally took you to bed an hour after meeting you the first time, right? But you asked to take things slow, so he’s being respectful. Falling in love takes time.”
I always expected falling in love to be like a lightning bolt: a sudden flash, the ground shaking, your heart palpitating, and the realization gripping you like the whole world has shifted and nothing would ever be the same. Then again, what would I know about love? Maybe love like that only happens in the movies. “You’re right,” I concede.
“Besides,” Lex says, rolling onto her belly and resting her chin her hand. “You’ve never really been in a good relationship or had one modelled for you. I think you’ve come to expect drama, and so when that’s not there you think something is wrong, but in reality it’s actually healthy. Good relationships shouldn’t be triggering your stress response, which is what butterflies are.”
“Really?”
She smirks. “I’m a scientist. I know shit like that.”
It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “I’m not sure if you have the right scientific background to be the authority on this subject, but okay.”
“True love should make you feel safe,” she explains. “You should feel relaxed and comfortable and able to be yourself around your person.”
Lexismaking a lot of sense. And she knows from experience what it’s like to have a relationship like that, and then watch it shift into something quite the opposite. “You’re right. Olsen is a great guy. He literally checks all my boxes. If anyone can break the curse, it’s him. I just have to give it more time.”
“Exactly.”
We grow quiet for a moment, enjoying simply being together. “So, when’s your next date with Lynn?”
“This weekend. We’re... going over to her place.” Lex’s cheeks turn a shade of pink as she averts her gaze.
“Oh. Wow. Like, for sex?” I blurt.
Lex hides her face with her hand. “Maybe?”
“Already?” I clear my throat as Lex drops her hand and eyes me. “It just seems sudden, I guess.”
Lex smirks. “Sudden, really? Coming from you?”
Fair point.“It’s just the first time you’ve dated someone since you left your husband and you haven’t been seeing each other for very long and you seem like such a cautious person and it’s a really big step and...” I inhale, trying to catch my breath.
“And...” Lex waits, but when I don’t say anything, she finishes my sentence for me. “You’re proud of me?”
“So proud of you.” I manage to nod, my cheeks flushing. And I’m not lying about it, either. At least, I don’t think I am.
“Maybe you and Olsen can get together, too,” Lex suggests. “The house will be empty.”
“Yeah, being alone with Olsen at his house worked out so well the first time,” I huff.
“Maybe some time alone together is just what you need to get those sparks flying.”
I twist my mouth to the side. “Maybe.”
“Mom! Wipe my bum!”Gabe’s voice calls from somewhere off screen.
