I nod.
“This is our opportunity, our chance, to use the pain of our past to create a better future for everyone.” Goosebumps rise on my arms as the deep timbre of her voice resonates through the small room.
“Make the world a better place,” I murmur.
“Exactly.”
Ebele is right. This poor girl didn’t have to get hurt. She didn’t have to go through any of this. I can’t go back in time to fix what happened in her past, nor mine, but maybe I can make the future better. That’s why I wanted to work here in the first place.
“Why don’t you take the rest of the day,” Ebele offers. “Go home, recover, and gather your wits about you. Tomorrow you can present what you’ve been working on and we’ll choose the best plan to bring forward to the government. I want to have something drafted and on the premier’s desk by end of day Friday. Okay?”
I nod. Ebele gives me one last tight-lipped smile through the mirror before leaving me alone. I dry my hands on a paper towel, still feeling shaky, before exiting the bathroom and walking to my office. What the hell am I going to do? I’ve been sobusy with Lex going on dates that I’ve been on autopilot at my job. I don’t have anything close to what we would need to present to the government for funding at the scale we’re hoping to get.
I grab my things and pass by the other empty offices, everyone still in the meeting. I walk past Jasleen’s open door, then stop and take a slow step back. Peeking inside, I spot an open notebook on her desk, filled with writing just as perfect and bubbly as her personality. I look over my shoulder. The hallway is still empty. Taking a slow step inside, I read the first few lines. My gut sinks. It’s good. Fuck, it’s really good. Why the hell didn’t I think of anything near as good as this? Oh, right, because Jasleen has a degree in psychology and gender studies and I’m here with a fucking bachelor’s in business. I don’t belong in the same room as these people. I’m sure Linda and Samantha will also have fabulous ideas, and I’ll be sitting there with my thumb up my ass. Ebele doesn’t even need me. I won’t be any help at all.
My phone dings and I jump in surprise. My face warming, I step out of Jasleen’s office and hurry out the door into the overcast afternoon, tiny spitting raindrops cooling my flushed skin. Once outside I check my phone to find an ominous message from Lex.
Hi. Hope your meeting went well. We need to talk. Call me.
chapter twenty-three
The Most Awkward Thing I’ve Ever Heard
“You didn’t tell Olsen that I was the reason you left him that night?” Lex says, more of a statement than a question, in a hushed tone through the phone receiver.
I sink lower into my seat on the SkyTrain, the anxious nausea that’s been swirling in my belly ever since Team Rainbow’s meeting coming back in full force. “No?”
“And why is he talking about you as if you’re still dating? You said you ended things.”
“I did! When I left, I said I couldn’t be with him anymore.” Though were those my exact words? My memory is fuzzy.
“Well, he just got off a two-day shift and messaged me asking if I’d heard from you. He said he’s sent you a dozen texts, left voicemails. He’s really worried. You seriously haven’t messaged him back?”
Guilt jabs at my stomach. “I’m sorry. I’ve been a little distracted.”
Lex sighs. “Please clear things up with him. It’s not my place.”
“I will. I promise.” Though just the thought of that conversation makes me want to curl up in the fetal position.
“What even happened?” Lex asks. “He said everything was going great one second, and the next you took off running.”
“You mean the night I professed my undying love to you and we made sweet, sweet love in the morning?” I comment, hoping to distract her.
“Before that,” she says, a hint of a smile in her voice.
I press my face into my hands. “Lex, you don’t want to know.”
“Clear communication, remember? Whatever happened, we’ll figure it out, okay?”
“You don’t understand.”
“After everything we’ve been through, nothing can surprise me.”
I thunk my head against the seat and groan. If only that were true.
“Come on,” Lex coaxes. “It’s probably not even that bad.”
Unable to avoid it any longer, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and get it all out as fast as I can. “We came home from a date and then we were fooling around on his couch and when he made me come I shouted your name. There, happy?”
