Just like with so many other people I’ve spoken to in the last few days, I watch Olsen’s expression shift from elation to confusion.
“Yeah,” I say with a solemn nod. “We need to talk. Can I come in?”
Olsen releases me and opens the door wider so I can step past. I avoid the couch entirely, not wanting to be reminded of the last time we were together, and opt for a barstool at his kitchen counter instead. Without needing to be asked, Olsen fetches me a glass of ice water and takes his place opposite the island, elbows leaning on the countertop, sleeves rolled up to his forearms, looking slightly concerned and achingly handsome.
“So, listen. You’re a really great guy, and anyone would be lucky to be with you, but—”
“It’s not you, it’s me?” he asks, the corner of his mouth lifting.
“I wish it were that simple or easy,” I say, smiling despite my discomfort.
Olsen reaches across the counter and takes my hand in his. “Is everything okay? Did something happen?”
I bite my lip, my insides twisting. “I’m... in love with someone else.”
Olsen withdraws his hand. “Oh.”
I close my eyes.Say it. Just say it. Deep breath. “And it’s your sister.”
“Oh!” Olsen steps back until his ass hits the counter behind him. I’m silent as he continues staring at me, puzzling my words together. After a long moment his brows lower and his head tilts. “Oh, shit.”
“‘Oh, shit’ is right,” I agree.
“Does she know?”
I nod. “Yeah. That night, after what happened on the couch—” I glance uncomfortably at his sofa “—I realized that the whole time I was going on dates and Lex was helping me out, I’d been falling in love with my best friend. I just didn’t see it. I’d convinced myself that you were the person for me. You are literally the perfect guy. You’re smart, and handsome, and kind, and gentle, and great in bed, and a fabulous uncle, and I’m sure you’ll be an amazing dad someday. You’re everything I thought I’d always wanted, but...”
“But you can’t help who you love,” he finishes for me.
I manage to nod.
A long silence settles between us as Olsen digests this information. All I can do is give him time. I’m not going to run from the discomfort, or try to mask it with a joke, or try to make it better. I told him something difficult; now it’s awkward, and I’m just going to let it be.
Finally, he says, “Okay.”
I blink a few times. “Okay?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. Okay.”
“What do you mean?”
Olsen steps back to the counter, returning to his leaning position, and clasps his big hands together. “Looking back, I cansee sparks between you two. You were both acting like idiots in love. One of those hindsight being twenty-twenty things.”
“You’re not... mad?”
He shakes his head. “No. It’s weird, don’t get me wrong. I can’t just shut off the part of my brain that likes you and finds you attractive and thinks about you in ways that are probably inappropriate given you’d rather be with my sister. But I think with time that will fade.”
“I’m sorry.” I wish there was something else I could do or say to make him feel better, but there isn’t. Sometimes things are just hard.
“I guess I was deluding myself into thinking you had feelings for me.” He lowers his gaze, shoulders sagging.
“Hey,” I say, my turn to reach across the counter and grab his hand. “You arenotdelusional. I was working hard to convince myself, and you, that I was into you—and Iwasat one point. You’re a great person and anyone would be lucky to be with you. Idolike you—just more as a friend than a lover if that makes sense.”
Olsen nods, then raises his brows. “Shit, yeah. I guess I’ll be sort of a brother to you if you’re with my sister.”
I draw in a sharp breath and nod. “Yup.”
He shakes his head, chuckling. “Family gatherings are going to be so awkward.”
